I think in higher doses you WOULD lose all sense of self, but at the doses I've been I knew I was me, I just didn't really feel like I was me anymore. I felt as if I'd started a new life as a new person and just retained my memories. You lose almost all emotion and just sort of become a shell taking in information. I've found in that state that I didn't have SI so I attempted overdoses multiple times. I didn't have any emotional connection to my life, people I know, pets, anything and I knew I would be in a bad place when I got sober so it was a very easy objective decision. Stop myself from becoming sober. Kill Myself. I took the meds and went to bed incredibly peacefully. At higher doses (400-500+) you'll have minor auditory hallucinations and VERY minor visual hallucinations. It had never been something that was realistic to me so I wouldn't be scared of that. Usually I just get a song I know (I'm not really a music person so it just made sense it was a hallucination) and the strongest visual one I got is I thought I saw my cat next to me for a second, but quickly realized it wasn't upon second inspection. Also, to get DXM capsules you can go to pretty much anywhere that would have cold medicine and you'll find them. I buy the dollar general cold and flu capsules (Bad if you plan to live after because lots of acetaminophen which is bad for your liver). I've found that almost all brands contain 15 mg per capsule. Dollar General brand has 48 capsules in the box and only costs like $10 USD. So 720 mg DXM total for $10. You can also find capsules with only the DXM if you just want to get high and not destroy your liver with the acetaminophen. The stuff is rather safe and you can't really hurt yourself unless you take like 3000 mg which I'm pretty confident most people wouldn't be able to hold down. I don't know if you've ever experience a dissociative event, and just started like emotionlessly moving around like a robot, but it's just a stronger version of that is the best way I can sum it up.