Soon! (I got a gun again!)

[undecidedfool]

I finally got a gun again this morning, which is pretty much all I've been waiting on. I'll probably attempt again tonight or tomorrow.
I feel both nervous and relieved. My suffering can be over soon if I don't psych myself out again. I feel bad for my friends and family, but, as every therapist says, sometimes you need to put yourself first. I don't think they mean committing suicide, but that's neither here nor there.
I don't know if I'll post or comment here again before I ctb, so thank you all for being here for my rambley posts. It helped make things tolerable while I waited.

 

[imissmycatsomuch]

I'm so relieved for you to have access to a solid method of your choice. It's so understandable to be nervous, we're hard-wired to find death terrifying despite how certain we are that it's the best choice. Have mercy on yourself if you hesitate to pull the trigger - it doesn't mean you're weak or a failure, it means your brain and body are at odds with you by trying to keep itself alive since this is our most natural instinct.

In case you are successful and never write here again, I hope that your exit is painless and peaceful. Your method has the highest likelihood of it being both. Take care and know that we're all supporting you and thinking of you no matter what happens.