All humans around me seem to be somewhat happy. They have a will to live. They are not hoping every single day in their life to die peacefully when they sleep. I see people with traumata. Some people recover, some people experience hope, some seem to be invincible so much stronger than me.
I am just an utterly broken person because the severe abuse happened so early in my childhood. I just unsavable. I am so fucking scared about the withdrawal symptoms of my benzos. My psychiatrist did not answer my phone call. Someone here gave me a very good advice for a good medication against withdrawal symptoms. If I don't kill myself or die unexpectedly this shit will go on for a couple more decades. Hell I won't endure that. There must be an exit.
This evening I still feel good. But I feel the withdrawal and extreme anxiety/pain is sneaking. This gonna be hell on earth. And I still have to do a paper for college. This will cost a lot of energy. But I prefer it over exam pressure.
I am just an utterly broken person because the severe abuse happened so early in my childhood. I just unsavable. I am so fucking scared about the withdrawal symptoms of my benzos. My psychiatrist did not answer my phone call. Someone here gave me a very good advice for a good medication against withdrawal symptoms. If I don't kill myself or die unexpectedly this shit will go on for a couple more decades. Hell I won't endure that. There must be an exit.
This evening I still feel good. But I feel the withdrawal and extreme anxiety/pain is sneaking. This gonna be hell on earth. And I still have to do a paper for college. This will cost a lot of energy. But I prefer it over exam pressure.
