jsjuliaa
Julia🌺
- Apr 14, 2025
- 17
Ive been thinking about that a lot, i don't really have issues being vunerable, but i also just hate my scars, they're not really in visible areas, like ive got some on my shoulder and thighs but otherwise random people don't really see them lol.
I guess i wasnt really thinking because im stupid but a while ago, i covered my shoulder with my hair as if that would hide anything at all (im a dumbass but i wasnt thinking rationally soo) and he moved my hair out the way and said "i already know whats on your shoulder" essentially reassuring me, he traced them and said something about it feeling like braille, its one of the sweetest memories i have.
As odd as this sounds I think it genuinely meant a lot. Most people react repulsed to scars.
Side rant but
I also have a weird memory from a long time ago during my prom, where i wore a dress that had my shoulders out, my mom to some extent, must have known they were self harm scars, but she insisted i did it in my sleep, / it was an accident, when speaking to my dad, which is weird because she has a lot more scars then me.
When my younger sister ended up self harming, my mom was incredibly angry. It wasnt a nice thing to watch, but it reminded me of when I was 13 and attempted for the first time.
She was beyond violent and didnt speak to me for days, she refused to stay with me in the hospital and made my dad stay
I felt disgusting and never really got the support i needed, sure they put me in certain programmes, but it was essentially just common sense stuff
It always makes me wonder how somebody who is so mentally ill, like my mom, can look down on other mentally ill people with disgust?
I guess i wasnt really thinking because im stupid but a while ago, i covered my shoulder with my hair as if that would hide anything at all (im a dumbass but i wasnt thinking rationally soo) and he moved my hair out the way and said "i already know whats on your shoulder" essentially reassuring me, he traced them and said something about it feeling like braille, its one of the sweetest memories i have.
As odd as this sounds I think it genuinely meant a lot. Most people react repulsed to scars.
Side rant but
I also have a weird memory from a long time ago during my prom, where i wore a dress that had my shoulders out, my mom to some extent, must have known they were self harm scars, but she insisted i did it in my sleep, / it was an accident, when speaking to my dad, which is weird because she has a lot more scars then me.
When my younger sister ended up self harming, my mom was incredibly angry. It wasnt a nice thing to watch, but it reminded me of when I was 13 and attempted for the first time.
She was beyond violent and didnt speak to me for days, she refused to stay with me in the hospital and made my dad stay
I felt disgusting and never really got the support i needed, sure they put me in certain programmes, but it was essentially just common sense stuff
It always makes me wonder how somebody who is so mentally ill, like my mom, can look down on other mentally ill people with disgust?
