So sick of it.

[Moreofthesamepain]

I'm grateful for this forum. So many people don't understand the desire to just not exist. I just want to disappear. My life has been full of great experiences thanks to my family and some of my friends who I love dearly. But so full of painn too.. I'm truly blessed in that regard. But as for myself, I feel like I have no idea on how to live, other than to survive. Like I'm just hanging on a thread. Barely. I want to live a full life but I also want to not be here. I don't want to see my family die. I don't want them to see me die either so where is the balance? It is said ctb is the greatest sin. But all sins are equal. I don't want to die but I don't seem to know how to live either. I'm sick of feeling incomplete and i
sick of pain. I'm sick of feeling lesser. My family loves me and my best friends do too. I just hate myself and what I've become.
Does anyone really care????

 

[IrRegularjoe]

Yes for sure, your family and friends like you just said.

 

[EmpressDean]

I relate. I hate myself everyday and anytime I try to change that I fail. I fail a lot. I don't even know if I want to stay long enough to take care of my parents because I would probly be bad at it I'm bad at everything lol

 

[disconnection]

I hear you. Being caught in that middle ground of wanting to die but knowing what that'd do to those you love is horrible.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry your life is full of pain. Have you sought help for your problem? Maybe an antidepressant can make a difference for you.