falloutcarter13
Bury me, bury me...
- Aug 1, 2020
- 671
I've made the decision to CTB for sure and for real, the only uncertainty right now is timing...it will be within the next two months, but I won't be able to pin it down any further than that until Friday. I feel almost totally at peace with the decision for my own sake. Today, though, the feeling of guilt is fucking overwhelming. My grandma keeps saying the sweetest things to me and telling me how much she loves me, I stg its like she can sense my intentions subconsciously and she's fighting me on my decision. The guilt won't be enough to stop me, my situation and desire/need to leave are too urgent to let it. But just knowing how much this is going to hurt her, even *if* I can get her to understand with a letter, is torture. Ah well, whats a little more misery before the fact, right? Not like feeling guilty is anything new for me. Thanks for everybody on this site listening to me and giving me a release valve.
