SN I'm really scared

[Елена]

I'm scared. I'm really scared.
1. I'm afraid that the SN will come before the meto and I won't make it, and I won't wait for the meto and the SN won't work.
2. I am afraid that I will be found or that the SN will work too slowly.
The thing is, I'm never alone, and our flat is very small, so I can't even hide in a separate room, so I have to go somewhere, run out into the night. And to do all this in a relatively deserted place, and the risk of being discovered is very high. But I have no other choice. What if I leave and the SN doesn't work? How will I endure the possible agony of being out in the cold?
By the way, how long does the SN drink, when mixed with water, retain its properties?
What if I don't wait for this meto? I've read opinions that 25g is too much and can lead to vomiting, so I'd better take 10g, although Stan says 25g. I'm really scared but I really need STB, I just can't take it anymore. My life is so meaningless that I just can't fix it, I'm incapable.
I know that what I write here about it won't help me, but I have no one to share my plans and fears with.
The fear is killing me to the point of panic. A train drove past at breakneck speed today, and I'm so sorry my head wasn't caught under its wheels. But I'm such a coward that I can't make such an attachment. And even if I could find a height from which to jump, I wouldn't dare. I hate myself for being a coward. And I also want to quit my life because I don't love anyone, I don't love anyone.I don't want to drag my commitments to anyone.I can't, don't want to and am not able to tolerate it all.
I used to be afraid of STB.I was afraid of being punished for it.But now I don't care anymore.Hell is living.I'm not happy about anything.And no one.I understand that I will cause suffering to my loved ones.But I don't want to live at all.Life is a pointless idea for people like me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you are in such a dark place. I wish I could say something to help but I'm not knowledgeable enough about the SN method to offer any reliable advice. Personally speaking though, I would try and hang on for the meto- if you can. To give yourself the best chance of success. That's me though- I worry about everything.

That's a very difficult situation- to be around others all the time- for doing this. I've only recently really understood why people often go to hotels. Is that an option for you?

 

[Елена]

I'm sorry you are in such a dark place. I wish I could say something to help but I'm not knowledgeable enough about the SN method to offer any reliable advice. Personally speaking though, I would try and hang on for the meto- if you can. To give yourself the best chance of success. That's me though- I worry about everything.

That's a very difficult situation- to be around others all the time- for doing this. I've only recently really understood why people often go to hotels. Is that an option for you?

Unfortunately, no(((((
I'm new to this country, I've never been anywhere by myself, and I don't know the language at all, and I don't know how to get anywhere by public transport.I don't know the city.at all.I'm so ignorant that I can't even rent a hotel here.((((((

 

[ge0rge]

can't you just use English?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Unfortunately, no(((((
I'm new to this country, I've never been anywhere by myself, and I don't know the language at all, and I don't know how to get anywhere by public transport.I don't know the city.at all.I'm so ignorant that I can't even rent a hotel here.((((((

That sounds very daunting. I'm sorry.

 

[literallydonee]

Do you know why meto is so important and ondansetron won't work? I know that meto is a D antagonist but why does that really matter? The dose of SN suggested is lethal and ondansetron is supposed to prevent nausea vomitting. Is it just that meto is stronger/better? I know the whole gastric emptying thing but does that really matter if the dose of SN alone is lethal? ugh.

I'm sorry you are in such a dark place. I wish I could say something to help but I'm not knowledgeable enough about the SN method to offer any reliable advice. Personally speaking though, I would try and hang on for the meto- if you can. To give yourself the best chance of success. That's me though- I worry about everything.

That's a very difficult situation- to be around others all the time- for doing this. I've only recently really understood why people often go to hotels. Is that an option for you?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do you know why meto is so important and ondansetron won't work? I know that meto is a D antagonist but why does that really matter? The dose of SN suggested is lethal and ondansetron is supposed to prevent nausea vomitting. Is it just that meto is stronger/better? I know the whole gastric emptying thing but does that really matter if the dose of SN alone is lethal? ugh.

Afraid I don't know- sorry. Hadn't even heard of Ondansetron to be honest. Hopefully other members here will be more knowledgeable. Think the whole idea of fasting and taking an antiemetic is to reduce the risk of vomiting and therefore allow a lethal enough dose of the SN to be absorbed. Ondansetron looks to be an antiemetic too- so I don't really know why meto is preferable (if it is). It's probably just that I happen to have some meto left from a previous illness, so I guess I've felt like that part was ticked off for me.

People have seemed to succeed without an antiemetic though- I think people often make up 1-2 more back-up drinks- even with the antiemetic- in case the first drink comes back up.

I'm just an overly cautious person really. There's no guarantee- even with all the preparations laid down that a ctb attempt will be successful but I feel like there's more chance of it succeeding when the methods are followed. Hopefully someone here will be able to give you some more scientific advice. Some folk really seem to know their stuff on the various methods.

 

[literallydonee]

Afraid I don't know- sorry. Hadn't even heard of Ondansetron to be honest. Hopefully other members here will be more knowledgeable. Think the whole idea of fasting and taking an antiemetic is to reduce the risk of vomiting and therefore allow a lethal enough dose of the SN to be absorbed. Ondansetron looks to be an antiemetic too- so I don't really know why meto is preferable (if it is). It's probably just that I happen to have some meto left from a previous illness, so I guess I've felt like that part was ticked off for me.

People have seemed to succeed without an antiemetic though- I think people often make up 1-2 more back-up drinks- even with the antiemetic- in case the first drink comes back up.

I'm just an overly cautious person really. There's no guarantee- even with all the preparations laid down that a ctb attempt will be successful but I feel like there's more chance of it succeeding when the methods are followed. Hopefully someone here will be able to give you some more scientific advice. Some folk really seem to know their stuff on the various methods.

That's what confuses me. PPH and everyone is constantly saying meto meto meto, but I also keep hearing how lethal SN is and that it's important that you just don't vomit. I already have ondan so I can't tell how worth it it is trying to acquire meto. I feel like my doctor will find the request weird even if lie. I also plan on making backup drinks and even have a g*n incase everything really goes to shit and I just need to end things. blah. its all just one big experiment. At least its less scary than hanging or jumping I suppose.

I'm scared. I'm really scared.
1. I'm afraid that the SN will come before the meto and I won't make it, and I won't wait for the meto and the SN won't work.
2. I am afraid that I will be found or that the SN will work too slowly.
The thing is, I'm never alone, and our flat is very small, so I can't even hide in a separate room, so I have to go somewhere, run out into the night. And to do all this in a relatively deserted place, and the risk of being discovered is very high. But I have no other choice. What if I leave and the SN doesn't work? How will I endure the possible agony of being out in the cold?
By the way, how long does the SN drink, when mixed with water, retain its properties?
What if I don't wait for this meto? I've read opinions that 25g is too much and can lead to vomiting, so I'd better take 10g, although Stan says 25g. I'm really scared but I really need STB, I just can't take it anymore. My life is so meaningless that I just can't fix it, I'm incapable.
I know that what I write here about it won't help me, but I have no one to share my plans and fears with.
The fear is killing me to the point of panic. A train drove past at breakneck speed today, and I'm so sorry my head wasn't caught under its wheels. But I'm such a coward that I can't make such an attachment. And even if I could find a height from which to jump, I wouldn't dare. I hate myself for being a coward. And I also want to quit my life because I don't love anyone, I don't love anyone.I don't want to drag my commitments to anyone.I can't, don't want to and am not able to tolerate it all.
I used to be afraid of STB.I was afraid of being punished for it.But now I don't care anymore.Hell is living.I'm not happy about anything.And no one.I understand that I will cause suffering to my loved ones.But I don't want to live at all.Life is a pointless idea for people like me.

I totally understand this feeling. When you realize you want to end things and look into it, it's completely overwhelming and trying to do it a peaceful way includes a lot of time sourcing things and even then it's scary. I would definitely say if you're going to do it, try to follow the instructions exactly, take the meto if you have it and do the 25g and have a back up drink. I wish I could get details on HOW nauseating and vomit-inducing SN truly is. Like how bad is it really? I know it's poison but so is alcohol and I never vomit from alcohol.

 

[home]

Do you know why meto is so important and ondansetron won't work? I know that meto is a D antagonist but why does that really matter?

Im not sure of the exact science, but I do know that its similar to like an "all roads lead to rome". The same symptom can be caused by multiple different things. Which is why theres so many ways to stop nausea (antihistmaine, dopamine blocker, serotonin blocker, stomach soother, etc). And if you dont choose the right stopper, then it wont do any good. So based on what all the people in the sn resources are saying, it sounds like medicines that dont target dopamine wont affect sn nausea.

 

[Cantbereal]

Gastric emptying seems to be why.