Help Significant Other

[Rosslynn24]

So I have been with my partner for 7 years now, during that time I have tryed and failed at ctb. I am still wanting my peace, but and terrified my partner will follow in my footsteps because she has become so dependent. She couldn't even handle me being in the phych ward for 2 months. She shredded her arms and legs and abused benzos out the ass. I feel like I am getting closer to start prepping, but can't get.over this fear....

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

Wow, I can only imagine how terrible that must be. I am unsure what I would do if I were in your spot thinking about it. I hope that somehow it resolves peacefully for you.

 

[Euthanza]

A pact crossed my mind, idk

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound like such a difficult situation to be in and I cannot imagine how hard it must be. It's sad how so much suffering exists. I hope that in whatever happens you find relief from what you are going through as none of us should ever have to experience pain.

 

[AloneInCollege]

It sounds like she formed a pretty intense codependency with you. What you do is still up to you, it is your life. But I think you should think about what she wants, and ask her this. I mean in terms of what she wants for herself. As mentioned maybe you form a pact, but then I worry that she might not be suicidal but only be pressured cause of you. It might help to get her psych help before you ctb.

 

[Rosslynn24]

It sounds like she formed a pretty intense codependency with you. What you do is still up to you, it is your life. But I think you should think about what she wants, and ask her this. I mean in terms of what she wants for herself. As mentioned maybe you form a pact, but then I worry that she might not be suicidal but only be pressured cause of you. It might help to get her psych help before you ctb.

She is currently in therapy. She tells me she wants to grow old with me I've tryed to tell her I'm not going to be there and she doesn't get it, always thinks I'm going to break up with her... Idk, maybe tip her therapist some? ( About her co-dependency)

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Isn't that how it has always been in normal (I hate using that word, but can't think of another right now) relationships? That each partner forms a reliance on the other? They become "as one"? Isn't that the reason that when an older spouse dies (of natural causes for this example), that the other spouse usually follows shortly thereafter (also of natural causes)? I don't think there is much that can be done about that myself.

 

[Jrmull1993]

maybe tip her therapist some?

Tipping off about the codependency is fine as long as your partner knows you've been in contact with her therapist. If you go this route, make sure nothing illudes to your CTB plans otherwise that can open a whole bunch of problems for you.

 

[Foresight]

I just told my partner straight up. I would rather tell him and deal with the emotional consequences then to lie and throw his whole life off balance with my unexpected death. He's not the type to try to take away my personal rights and have me locked up though. If you're with a partner who might do that then it would be different.

 

[Jrmull1993]

@Foresight

If you don't mind me asking, was it nerve-wracking to tell your partner about your plans?

 

[Foresight]

@Foresight

If you don't mind me asking, was it nerve-wracking to tell your partner about your plans?

It was an absolute nightmare. We're pretty "co-dependent" and we live for our life together. Now we're much more raw and honest about our mental stability and my recovery or downfall. I just prefer it that way so he knows how real it can get inside my head. I don't ever want him to find me dead out of nowhere. I could imagine if it was the other way around.

 

[Jrmull1993]

@Foresight

Thanks for sharing that. My best friend knows I actively think about suicide but I know I downplay it to him. I've been working to "test the waters" but don't think I'm there mentally to outright say that I will eventually die by premeditated means.