Venting Sick of processing shit

[needforvoid_]

My life seems like just jumping from one trauma to another. I'm sick and tired. People say it can get better. I don't want it to get better. I'm stunted. By the time I resolve everything, I'll be half way in grave already. There is just a moment when you realise you don't have it in you anymore, it's not worth it.

 

[loststar]

Life has a habbit of pilling more and more on top of people that have already had their fair share. I agree also that when people say it can get better it makes me want to lash out, like they could possibly know if it could get better.
Hope you find some semblance of peace

 

[needforvoid_]

Life has a habbit of pilling more and more on top of people that have already had their fair share. I agree also that when people say it can get better it makes me want to lash out, like they could possibly know if it could get better.
Hope you find some semblance of peace

Bugs me as well. "Better" is not good enough, I want to be well. Instead of putting all effort just to be at 0. There's no growth happening, just surviving.
Like you've said, it's the piling up. "I know someome who had that happen and they're fine now." Yeah, but have they already spent their whole lives trying to fix themselves from this X thing.

 

[author]

I know what you mean. I've had a similar experience. I can fill out a traumatic-experience bingo with several bingos. I hope we both find some kind of peace soon.

 

[needforvoid_]

I know what you mean. I've had a similar experience. I can fill out a traumatic-experience bingo with several bingos. I hope we both find some kind of peace soon.

Amazing, isn't it. I don't think I can find peace, just want it to stop.

 

[its-about-time]

Exactly where I'm at. Not into trying to process or make things better. Once I come to grips with one thing, everything else totally floods me, and I lose the work I'd done on that first thing. Why keep pushing the rock uphill?

I just restarted EMDR w/ my therapist and the only reason I agreed to it is because EMDR usually makes me feel much much worse (as we dig deep into trauma). I'm secretly hoping it pushes me over the edge and into action, now that I have my SN and whatnot.

Cheers to you. Just jellyfish it. Wherever the tide pushes you, just roll with it. No trying to swim parallel to shore.

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that I see it, we are all human and there is only so much that we can cope with and only so much suffering we can endure. It really can be awful living a life that is just pain and misery, I see no point to living, I am tired of it all. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[hopelessdreams]

My life seems like just jumping from one trauma to another. I'm sick and tired. People say it can get better. I don't want it to get better. I'm stunted. By the time I resolve everything, I'll be half way in grave already. There is just a moment when you realise you don't have it in you anymore, it's not worth it.

fully with u. i don't see the point in trying to resolve the trauma i got from other people. why do i have to put all my energy in that because of the actions of other people???

 

[needforvoid_]

Exactly where I'm at. Not into trying to process or make things better. Once I come to grips with one thing, everything else totally floods me, and I lose the work I'd done on that first thing. Why keep pushing the rock uphill?

I just restarted EMDR w/ my therapist and the only reason I agreed to it is because EMDR usually makes me feel much much worse (as we dig deep into trauma). I'm secretly hoping it pushes me over the edge and into action, now that I have my SN and whatnot.

Cheers to you. Just jellyfish it. Wherever the tide pushes you, just roll with it. No trying to swim parallel to shore.

Never had access to that one, but not the first account of therapy making things worse. Have fun I guess?
You've described my mindset very well.

The way that I see it, we are all human and there is only so much that we can cope with and only so much suffering we can endure. It really can be awful living a life that is just pain and misery, I see no point to living, I am tired of it all. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

There really is a threshold.

fully with u. i don't see the point in trying to resolve the trauma i got from other people. why do i have to put all my energy in that because of the actions of other people???

I see what you mean. The only person I owe it to is myself, but I don't care so there's that. I'm not angry, just tired.

 

[Pluto]

I agree entirely.

The only thing I can add is that having the right support makes all the difference. But lacking that support, as I have, just means being as good as dead ahead of time. I feel like an aeroplane that was already shot a while ago, and is just taking a long time to fall to its fiery demise.