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Anonymous 4

Anonymous 4

Specialist
Jun 26, 2021
304
One guy on here said he had N, but knowing he would die he didn't take it, so SI, when I tried to drown or partial hang SI happened, regardless of the mind wanting to die, the body will to live over powers this in my case, it the struggle of SI, that don't let me pass,
With N, you fall asleep, and die, you don't actually have to deal with SI, so I can't comprehend that this guy was going on about SI being a issue, but he had N,

This would mean SI ain't the same, mentally for everyone, once I got my N, and I get a time window good enough, which I'm in the process of trying to sort out now, I'm gonna take methadone, xanax, do my stat, drink it, shot of whisky and go to sleep,

When say methadone and xanax this will be in the morning, hours before I take N, so its in the blood stream, and not in my stomach.
 
J

Joplin

Member
May 2, 2021
56
SI joins regardless of the method. Your mind knows what is about to happen and of course your body clicks on. It's exhausting, getting ridiculously close to death and just not able to force that drink down. It's quite an experience.
 
Anonymous 4

Anonymous 4

Specialist
Jun 26, 2021
304
SI joins regardless of the method. Your mind knows what is about to happen and of course your body clicks on. It's exhausting, getting ridiculously close to death and just not able to force that drink down. It's quite an experience.
I fully agree regardless of method SI is there, but in the case of N, the SI is just mental, with other methods like hanging etc, you'll first have the mental part of it before doing it, then have the physical (body struggle) part of it while in the process of CTBing,
Like I said with the N, you'll bypass the physical part, which in turn, lessens the mental anxiety side of it.

Knowing this, it makes drinking the N less of problem, will still have the normal mental reflex before taking it, just not as bad due to what's mentioned above, for me it helps greatly, and makes drinking the N possible, I don't know if everyone else is the same but when I tried CTBing last time the issue I found hard was the physical part of SI, the body not wanting to die, there's two parts to SI I guess the mental knowing, then the body's response to dying, which you could also say the root of that is from the mind which it is, but it triggers a physical reaction, that's the worst part for me, my reason for needing to die is more mental,

Like you said tho it will be a experience when infornt of me, but for my own reason, I'm sure drinking it will not be as big of a issue for me as it is for some.
I fully agree regardless of method SI is there, but in the case of N, the SI is just mental, with other methods like hanging etc, you'll first have the mental part of it before doing it, then have the physical (body struggle) part of it while in the process of CTBing,
Like I said with the N, you'll bypass the physical part, which in turn, lessens the mental anxiety side of it.

Knowing this, it makes drinking the N less of problem, will still have the normal mental reflex before taking it, just not as bad due to what's mentioned above, for me it helps greatly, and makes drinking the N possible, I don't know if everyone else is the same.
O
 
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