SI at its strongest

[Snake of Eden]

I recently dabbled in dangerous drug taking and I entered some state of consciousness where I felt close to death. I am talking about something very specific. I wonder of any of you know what I am talking about. I am not talking of normal thoughts/fears of dying. What I felt I also felt twice before in my life that you instinctively know you are close to the other side. Thats when SI is at its strongest when you KNOW you are about to die. In those moment no one wants to die. All you want is for that feeling to go away and be normal again. I am not trying to scare off anyone about ctb. I am just wondering if anyone knows what i am talking about here

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I had that moment once trying a partial hanging, and I passed out/fell asleep for a moment then woke up and realized I'm about to die… Before tearing the belt away from my neck… I don't remember consciously thinking this is what it feels like just before you die… I have never felt that before… I don't know if this is what you're talking about… But SI kicked in hard

 

[Snake of Eden]

I had that moment once trying a partial hanging, and I passed out/fell asleep for a moment then woke up and realized I'm about to die… Before tearing the belt away from my neck… I don't remember consciously thinking this is what it feels like just before you die… I have never felt that before… I don't know if this is what you're talking about… But SI kicked in hard

Yes I think this is it. SI at its strongest when your mind tells you without any doubt that you are about to die. The difference for me because mine this time was drug induced that it lasted for 3 days and got slowly lower from then on until i returned to normal. For 3 days at least i was sure to cross over to the other side. Not one single second that I did not think that I want that to happen even though I actually wanted to stop existing but in those days all I wanted was to stay alive as in I didnt want whatever I am being scared of to happen. It was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yes I think this is it. SI at its strongest when your mind tells you without any doubt that you are about to die. The difference for me because mine this time was drug induced that it lasted for 3 days and got slowly lower from then on until i returned to normal. For 3 days at least i was sure to cross over to the other side. Not one single second that I did not think that I want that to happen even though I actually wanted to stop existing but in those days all I wanted was to stay alive as in I didnt want whatever I am being scared of to happen. It was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me

That is why something like Nembutal would be so perfect… You just drink it down and drift off… There's nothing to fight… I wonder how hard it would be to pick up the glass and drink it… There's a good portion of every day, usually in the morning I'm not sure I would hesitate… If you feel like you're in a burning building the only way out is to leap…