Help Should I take my cat when I cross?Your opinion?

[hell toupee]

Dear hell toupee:
I offer you my deepest condolences for your losses, both your wife and your health. The ancient Stoic philosophers said we cannot know the future, but it is more likely to be worse than otherwise. As usual they were right!

I thank you also for reaffirming my sanity. You can only take so much and your mind begins to lose its elasticity; your thinking becomes alien to your normal nature and you begin to doubt yourself.

I have always been more intellectual than physical and I never saw myself as particularly strong. I always felt when the going got tough I'd be most likely to hide under the table. But there is no table to hide under and everything is up to me. Is this, my final act, designed to prove I had what I always doubted I had? (God could have just left a note on my voicemail. I would have believed Him; I didn't need proof!)

When my last relative passed away five years ago I knew I had to make plans for the future, because there wouldn't be anyone to watch out for me.

The choice comes down to length of life vs quality of life. The Stoics argued for quality of life and cautioned against the frailty and indignity of a life lived too long. Nor did they see anything wrong with choosing to end your life if Fate began abusing you too much. They said Nature was generous because it allows us only one way into life but many ways out.

I cared for several of my older relatives over the years and we were always there for them to the very end; no nursing homes ever. But there would be no one there for me. And I have visited other people in nursing homes and it gave me absolute chills!

So I chose to go out on my feet with my boots on which meant finding an acceptable way to make a dignified exit. As we know there are few "good" ways to go. Eventually I chose NI since it was the least violent and if it fails they're are no long term effects.

I have had it for some time so I have taken delivery of testing equipment to make sure it is still viable.

I have read and watched hundreds of hours on life after death and I really believe there is a wonderful life after this one. Even so I resonate with Woody Allen's quip, "I'm not afraid of dying; I just don't want to be there when it happens". It's the fear of the unknown. Our brains HATE the unknown. "Lord I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

So I take it one shakey step at a time, and I try to remember at 73 I am flying home anyway, and I will be much better off the sooner I get there. And if everything I have learned is true, Paradise and all those I have ever loved are only a breath away.

And I better get away before I really do crumble! For over 60 years I maintained the exact same weight +/- 8 pounds, but I have lost 30 pounds in the last three months! I cannot eat except perhaps a can of soup a day and only after a taking a 1mg Xanax.

If I am here to learn yet one more life lesson, I will take an "F"; I'm going home.

Thank you for the kind words Sam.

I too have watched a lot of NDE testimonials. I have an article that you might find interesting - it is a summary of what happens after we die. If you are more of a cerebral type person, I think you will come to appreciate what is being said.

Just after my wife died, I had several very strange occurrences that went beyond just mere coincidence and literally blew my mind. This led me to those NDE testimonials, and eventually the aforementioned article.

I am not a religious person and never have been - but what I read literally changed my view on a lot of things, as it seems to perfectly explain why NDEs are so varied.

If you have a few minutes, I urge you to read it - it is attached to this post as a PDF file. Let me know what you think.

EDIT: I will add that there was a big article on Yahoo yesterday about the fact that scientists had discovered that gamma wave activity in the brain did not stop upon clinical death (title of the article was something like "Scientists discover consciousness does not end with clinical death" or something like that. If you read the paper I attached, it perfectly aligns with this revelation.

 

[Galam]

I am happy that I don't have any pets I need to care for. It is a hard situation to kill a pet before CTB but I think it is better than letting the pet starve or abandone it. Since last year I wished to have a BKH (britisch kurzhaar) cat and I choose to not do this, because I cannot give her a good life here and I think she would be sad when I die before her. And I would be sad if she dies before me or she gets sick and dies painful or someone stole her from me and abuses her for money. Similar with children, I am anti-breeder.

 

[Raindancer]

I am so sorry for all you are going through. I cannot imagine the stress. I am disabled and was considering PA as one of my options, but you have definitely made me rethink that as an option. I too have many fur babies waiting on the other side and in my funeral plans my ashes will be mixed with all my fur babies ashes and then spread.

I honestly cannot believe they did that to you regarding your wife, but my grandmother had to go into a home and I was privy to some of the financial finagling they did so unfortunately I do believe it and am very sorry. When you are alone(I will be as well) at the end of our time it definitely makes things very difficult. I wish I could offer something, but I do agree with most here that Twillzer will be better off with you. Since you said that you do not want to CTB, have you looked into every option to see if there are programs that may help you stay in your house? I hate this for you!

 

[Tulsa Sam 52]

You're Story makes me so sad, it's pathetic how we treat people who are struggling and nobody cares, as long as it's not them. :(
I'm really sorry. (I know this doesn't help you 1 bit)

Hope you got Jesus before passing, even if you don't believe, if you think there is even a 0,1% chance it could be real, just make sure you think about it at least once. :)

2025-09-20
Hi MyUniqueUsername:

I have always been sorry I never had the special feeling of personal closeness with Jesus some people are gifted with, nevertheless I have always tried to follow him in spirit and principle in every aspect of my life. Some people asked if I was trying to be a saint or something. And, knowing what I have endured on behalf of others have often called me a an angel, but that was nonsense. I only did what I believed Jesus would have expected me to do as one of his followers. Did I always do right and never do wrong? Of course not; I am only human. But did I always try to do right when I was shown the the

right? Yes, as best I could. And did I knowingly do wrong? No. Why would I choose to do wrong? My best hope is Jesus will say to me, "Well, you are nothing to write home about, but I guess you did about the best you could given what you had to work with. You tried to follow me anyway. Maybe you'll improve over time ".


As I contemplate my ending this journey on Earth, I am greatly troubled I have left something undone that SHOULD have been done. Could I have done more to help my wife escape from her captors? I did everything in my power to help her, but Pennsylvania has an unbelievable human trafficking lobby. The courts are rigged, the legislature is rigged, the police are rigged. Money (and evil) will get you anything in Pennsylvania -- except Justice, which is unknown here.


I believe America should be great again. But I believe EVERY country should be great; it's people should be great, each in their own unique way. BUT, I do not believe any country can be great if it is not GOOD! It may be rich or it may be powerful, but it CANNOT be GREAT if it is not pure and honest and humane. God cannot bless that which is so foreign to His nature. Pennsylvania take note! All governments should take note.


And because I always try to follow Christ, I am troubled by my euthanizing my old and probably sick cat. DO I HAVE THAT RIGHT? Is she not God's creature as much as I? Is my human wisdom enough to decide on the divine life of another? Even if my human understanding gives me every reason to think it is far and away the wisest, most loving choice? Help me Lord!

If that's true, I just want to encourage a razor sharp problem solving mindset.

I obviously don't know the full extent of your situations, but outliving your cat, and visiting your wife occasionally, does not sound like an impossible objective.
Besides that it sounds like you want changes to the local system. If it's even a fraction as bad as you say, you will not alone.

Apologies for not having actionable advice, but I think there are people who do, if you ask the right questions.
I get that you're overwhelmed by impending homelessness and an oppressive system, but I'd like to at least try to shove feelings aside and examine your options.

What happens if you can't afford pay rent? Are you illegible for any kind of government support? Non-profit organizations?
The U.S. can be a ruthless place, but it's not known to let people starve on the street.

This is going to sound dystopian, but run your situation through chatGPT. See what it spits out.

Hi, Hvergelmir:
I appreciate your support and ideas, and not too long ago I would have made the effort. But I have spent months and written countless letters and talked to government officials at every level, and NOTHING! NO INTEREST, NO HELP, JUST CONTINUOUS ATTACKS ON ME BECAUSE I KEEP FIGHTING FOR HER RIGHTS AS A HUMAN BEING. I have talked to dozens of attorneys who are interested until they find they are up against the nursing home interests and they can't run away fast enough.

My wife only went in to have some simple therapy for her ankle! Now she is kept in a tiny half a room and never allowed out. She begs me to bring her some food she likes or some little something to give her something to look at. But the crooked courts won't even allow that. They made it impossible to keep my house. I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO FIGHT FOR HER RIGHTS, AND THEY HAVE TO BREAK ME! And they have! Diane cannot understand why I can't bring her home? I had Power of Attorney, it was my RIGHT to take her home. But when I tried the nursing home/prison called the police on ME!

I know this sounds nuts, but that is how PENNSYLVANIA gets away with it. It is unbelievable, plus wads of crooked cash, plus no one cares. And if you try to oppose them they will break you . . . and they have the crooked judges to do it. I know, they have done it to me.

How can I go to see my wife, penned up like an animal, refused any exercise, allowed nothing except being force-fed food she doesn't like, and my having to watch her being tortured to death for the rest of her life? How can I tell her she will be kept like an animal until she dies? She is only 68, they will slowly drive her mad. Which of us could stand to watch something like that happen to someone they love?

Let us hear no more about the Russian Gulags, the Nazi Concentration Camps, the Prison Camps of North Korea. Our hands are hardly clean. A virtuous person can take only so much of the stench of State-sanctioned evil and the endless lies that cover it up! Diane and I will meet in the not too distant future in a place where the most viscious of Government evil cannot reach. There we will be free and happy under the never ending blessings of God (Good).
____________________

There is nothing wrong with Diane, but in doing my research I discovered there are a lot of functioning people who have been trapped, often for life, in Government - Sanctioned "Nursing (prison) Homes. It happens all the time. The victims cannot help themselves, the doors and windows are locked and there are no phones, and the rest of the world either doesn't know or doesn't care. (They will care when they get trapped, but who will help them,? No one!)

The grift is these government sanctioned Gulags take there victim's Social Security money, then kick back to the government to keep the racket going. Never underestimate the EVIL corrupt government working with wicked and greedy businesses are capable of generating. Has history taught us nothing?

And, as we also know, Corrupt Government working with Corrupt Businesses will DO ANYTHING to destroy anyone who dares to oppose them. As I have discovered all too well. No wonder there wasn't an attorney who didn't run like a scared rabbit the moment they learned what


Hi, Hvergelmir:
I appreciate your support and ideas, and not too long ago I would have made the effort. But I have spent months and written countless letters and talked to government officials at every level, and NOTHING! NO INTEREST, NO HELP, JUST CONTINUOUS ATTACKS ON ME BECAUSE I KEEP FIGHTING FOR HER RIGHTS AS A HUMAN BEING. I have talked to dozens of attorneys who are interested until they find they are up against the nursing home interests and they can't run away fast enough.

I am 73, and I have had it up to the back teeth with the corruption and evil of this world. I cannot help Diane and I cannot watch her suffer like an animal.

I have more than had it with this world, but I stayed so I could help others. My father needed me, then my mother. When Diane's father died I had her come to live with us. (We were married but as only children we spent our time apart caring for our aging parents.) Then she had a friend she bought along who would have kept a dozen Freuds busy 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Nevertheless I help take care of him to.

Meanwhile I had the house to take care of, and a business to try to run, and some sort of life to try to have. By that time I was in my sixties and I had eight cats, all of them getting older. The question for me was how long could I continue going on before I broke down?

I was so worried that I would break while others still needed me I used to pray that our cats at least would pass before I did so I wouldn't have to leave any behind. It turned out my prayers were answered, and my last cat died a year and a half ago. Diane and Fred wanted to get a kitten, I said that would be a terrible idea we would certainly wind up leaving it and who would take care of it? It's not as though we had any family or friends especially in Pennsylvania who could do it. But I did pray to the Lord saying if there is a cat out there that needs me please bring it to my door. I had no idea it would be Twizzler.

I now have no one in the entire world, except Diane who is being kept in bondage until she dies which is killing me. But then I have a heart, something strangely missing in much of Pennsylvania apparently. I won't have a house because there's no way that I can keep it. The idea of course, is to trap me in one of their nursing homes so they can lock me in a room and bleed my Social Security dry. I know their game; I've watched them play it for over six months. And whatever else I may be, I have never been called stupid!

My advice is to get out while you can, that is to say while you're still healthy enough to control your own life. Because once you become vulnerable, unless you have family to take care of you, (and even if you do because I did have every legal right to take care of Diane) the government will break you anyway. If I had to choose between trusting Satan and trusting the government I would trust Satan every time. And nothing in the world would make me trust Satan.

My work here is finished. There is no one left for me to help, and I cannot even help myself. My task now is to get out before it's too late. I do not want to CTB, but who of us really wants to. What we want is freedom, peace, comfort, all the things that this world will not supply. If what I have read and watched is true, it is only a breath between the bondage we suffer here and the freedom will enjoy over there. Is that true? I don't know! But I've done a lot of reading, and seen a lot of interviews, and watched a lot of scientific studies, and all of them strongly indicate that we can leave hell whenever we want and heaven is only a moment away. Sometimes you just have to take the chance.

 

[Tulsa Sam 52]

Hi MyUniqueUsername:
I have always been sorry I never had the special feeling of personal closeness with Jesus some people are gifted with, nevertheless I have always tried to follow him in spirit and principle in every aspect of my life. Some people asked if I was trying to be a saint or something. And, knowing what I have endured on behalf of others have often called me a an angel, but that was nonsense. I only did what I believed Jesus would have expected me to do as one of his followers. Did I always do right and never do wrong? Of course not; I am only human. But did I always try to do right when I was shown the the
right? Yes, as best I could. And did I knowingly do wrong? No. Why would I choose to do wrong? My best hope is Jesus will say to me, "Well, you are nothing to write home about, but I guess you did about the best you could given what you had to work with. You tried to follow me anyway. Maybe you'll improve over time ".

As I contemplate my ending this journey on Earth, I am greatly troubled I have left something undone that SHOULD have been done. Could I have done more to help my wife escape from her captors? I did everything in my power to help her, but Pennsylvania has an unbelievable human trafficking lobby. The courts are rigged, the legislature is rigged, the police are rigged. Money (and evil) will get you anything in Pennsylvania -- except Justice, which is unknown here.

I believe America should be great again. But I believe EVERY country should be great; it's people should be great, each in their own unique way. BUT, I do not believe any country can be great if it is not GOOD! It may be rich or it may be powerful, but it CANNOT be GREAT if it is not pure and honest and humane. God cannot bless that which is so foreign to His nature. Pennsylvania take note! All governments should take note.

And because I always try to follow Christ, I am troubled by my euthanizing my old and probably sick cat. DO I HAVE THAT RIGHT? Is she not God's creature as much as I? Is my human wisdom enough to decide on the divine life of another? Even if my human understanding gives me every reason to think it is far and away the wisest, most loving choice? Help me Lord!

 

[Tulsa Sam 52]

Thank you for the kind words Sam.

I too have watched a lot of NDE testimonials. I have an article that you might find interesting - it is a summary of what happens after we die. If you are more of a cerebral type person, I think you will come to appreciate what is being said.

Just after my wife died, I had several very strange occurrences that went beyond just mere coincidence and literally blew my mind. This led me to those NDE testimonials, and eventually the aforementioned article.

I am not a religious person and never have been - but what I read literally changed my view on a lot of things, as it seems to perfectly explain why NDEs are so varied.

If you have a few minutes, I urge you to read it - it is attached to this post as a PDF file. Let me know what you think.

EDIT: I will add that there was a big article on Yahoo yesterday about the fact that scientists had discovered that gamma wave activity in the brain did not stop upon clinical death (title of the article was something like "Scientists discover consciousness does not end with clinical death" or something like that. If you read the paper I attached, it perfectly aligns with this revelation.

Thank you Hell Toupee. I have downloaded the PDF you attached and will read it tonight. I will also look for the Yahoo article as well. I have been scanning YouTube which has hours of content on NDE and associated information and I am amazed at what researchers and scientists are discovering.

I too have never been "religious". In my opinion Religion tends to be more about our human ideas of God, which are often good and useful, but are also often contaminated by the evils in human nature. Whereas "Spirituality" seeks to know and follow the actuality of the nature of the One that planned and governs ALL according to His/Her/Its divine nature.

I was watching an interview with Raymond Moody who said we are rapidly gaining information about the Other Side, but we don't yet have the philosophy in place to understand it. He proposed placing oneself in the position of a well educated man in 1911, then hearing someone say, "I am going to watch a movie tonight on my telephone". Of course we understand it completely without further explanation, but to the man of 1911 it would be absolutely undecipherable. But perhaps we are learning.

It seems to me there are so many scientists who are twisting themselves into pretzels to avoid saying the word God. But if there is a Governing Force, which there seems to be; and if that Force is intelligent, which it seems to be; and if It is good and loving, which thousands of years of human experience have found it to be, what do I care about the name? Rather let us discover Its nature and follow Its laws.

There is much we don't know. In 1963 my parents built their dream house. They designed every aspect of it according to their desires and tastes, and they live there for the rest of my father's life. After he died a contractor we knew and trusted so misused the funds we had set aside for renovation, we were forced to sell it at a tremendous loss. The man who bought it was not a very nice person, someone my father would not have even associated with. But as my mother and I were moving out some very strange things began to happen. Electric circuits began failing one area at a time throughout the house, even though they had worked perfectly for over 50 years. I could never find any reason; no one was working on the electricity or near the circuit box.

Another time there was a strong smell of gas in the garage below the family room. Many years before I had had a gas pipe run in there for a piece of machinery I had, but the machinery had been disconnected years before, the gas valve turned off and covered over. Smelling the gas, I uncovered the valve and found it had been turned fully on. No one even knew it was there nor was there any way to turn it on without using a wrench. What had happened? I don't know, but I know my father would not have wanted that man to have his house. I only mention the facts, I do not attempt to explain them.

I have been paying a lot of attention to Roberta Grimes and R. Craig Hogan, both authors and prolific investigators of life after death, frequent contributors on YouTube, and their website www.seek reality.com has a lot of useful information. And another very prolific website is www.nderf.com. It is one of the largest Near Death investigatory groups in the world, the site is free, and some of their investigators are interviewed on YouTube as well.

Since many of the members of our site are considering taking a leap into the Great Unknown, it might be a good idea to have some notion of what might await. In any event we all will wind up there sooner or later, although it might be more accurate to say sooner since no one lives all that long whether we choose to take our own life or let nature do it for us.

You mention some strange occurrences after the death of your wife. Would you be willing to share some of those with me?

When my great-uncle died my cousin went to his house and took her young son with her. The house was in another state and neither she nor her son had photos of our great uncle, nor had they ever visited him. One evening when my cousin and her son were alone in the house she heard her son, then less than 3 years old, talking to someone. When she went in to find out who he was talking to she found the room empty except for her son, and her son said he was talking to the man in the room. When she asked him to describe the man he exactly described our great uncle. Uncle John was a wonderful man, and just the kind of person who would enjoy talking to a young boy. That's all I know, but my cousin never stopped talking about it.

 

[hell toupee]

Thank you Hell Toupee. I have downloaded the PDF you attached and will read it tonight. I will also look for the Yahoo article as well. I have been scanning YouTube which has hours of content on NDE and associated information and I am amazed at what researchers and scientists are discovering.

I too have never been "religious". In my opinion Religion tends to be more about our human ideas of God, which are often good and useful, but are also often contaminated by the evils in human nature. Whereas "Spirituality" seeks to know and follow the actuality of the nature of the One that planned and governs ALL according to His/Her/Its divine nature.

I was watching an interview with Raymond Moody who said we are rapidly gaining information about the Other Side, but we don't yet have the philosophy in place to understand it. He proposed placing oneself in the position of a well educated man in 1911, then hearing someone say, "I am going to watch a movie tonight on my telephone". Of course we understand it completely without further explanation, but to the man of 1911 it would be absolutely undecipherable. But perhaps we are learning.

It seems to me there are so many scientists who are twisting themselves into pretzels to avoid saying the word God. But if there is a Governing Force, which there seems to be; and if that Force is intelligent, which it seems to be; and if It is good and loving, which thousands of years of human experience have found it to be, what do I care about the name? Rather let us discover Its nature and follow Its laws.

There is much we don't know. In 1963 my parents built their dream house. They designed every aspect of it according to their desires and tastes, and they live there for the rest of my father's life. After he died a contractor we knew and trusted so misused the funds we had set aside for renovation, we were forced to sell it at a tremendous loss. The man who bought it was not a very nice person, someone my father would not have even associated with. But as my mother and I were moving out some very strange things began to happen. Electric circuits began failing one area at a time throughout the house, even though they had worked perfectly for over 50 years. I could never find any reason; no one was working on the electricity or near the circuit box.

Another time there was a strong smell of gas in the garage below the family room. Many years before I had had a gas pipe run in there for a piece of machinery I had, but the machinery had been disconnected years before, the gas valve turned off and covered over. Smelling the gas, I uncovered the valve and found it had been turned fully on. No one even knew it was there nor was there any way to turn it on without using a wrench. What had happened? I don't know, but I know my father would not have wanted that man to have his house. I only mention the facts, I do not attempt to explain them.

I have been paying a lot of attention to Roberta Grimes and R. Craig Hogan, both authors and prolific investigators of life after death, frequent contributors on YouTube, and their website www.seek reality.com has a lot of useful information. And another very prolific website is www.nderf.com. It is one of the largest Near Death investigatory groups in the world, the site is free, and some of their investigators are interviewed on YouTube as well.

Since many of the members of our site are considering taking a leap into the Great Unknown, it might be a good idea to have some notion of what might await. In any event we all will wind up there sooner or later, although it might be more accurate to say sooner since no one lives all that long whether we choose to take our own life or let nature do it for us.

You mention some strange occurrences after the death of your wife. Would you be willing to share some of those with me?

When my great-uncle died my cousin went to his house and took her young son with her. The house was in another state and neither she nor her son had photos of our great uncle, nor had they ever visited him. One evening when my cousin and her son were alone in the house she heard her son, then less than 3 years old, talking to someone. When she went in to find out who he was talking to she found the room empty except for her son, and her son said he was talking to the man in the room. When she asked him to describe the man he exactly described our great uncle. Uncle John was a wonderful man, and just the kind of person who would enjoy talking to a young boy. That's all I know, but my cousin never stopped talking about it.

Excellent post Sam - you and I think in a very similar manner.

Take a few minutes and read that PDF document, it should answer a lot of questions you have. As it's just a summary of a book, the book goes much more in depth. I don't want to get ahead of myself, so we can talk about that if you have any further interest in the subject.

As to my experiences? There were many. I should preface what I'm about to say with, as mentioned, I have never been a religious or spiritual person - was never in to the paranormal, ghosts, or any of that kind of stuff.

I'll give you the most recent experience, and I should emphasize that had things like the following happened just once, or even 5 times, I would certainly dismiss them as coincidences. But they kept happening, over and over again.

My wife hung herself on August 9, 2024. Now, I like to read before sleep as it makes me tired - usually always non fiction. But I bumped in to a fiction book at the beginning of August this year (2025) called "The Midnight Library". It is about a woman who attempts suicide and finds herself in a library in the afterlife, where all of the books represent other lives she has lived, which she can open and re-experience at any time.

On the anniversary of my wife's death, August 9, 2025, at bedtime I picked up the book and was already in the middle of a chapter where the woman, Nora, is in a life where she's a scientist on the South pole. Halfway down the very first page I'm reading, she is talking to a colleague when out of the blue he says this line verbatim "Nono". That's it, just that one word. I thought it was a typographical error for "Nora". But it wasn't - the very next line is Nora saying "Nono?". And that's it, they don't explain why he called her Nono, they don't talk about it, nothing - they just move on talking and pick up their previous conversation before he interrupted with "Nono".. Since I have the digital version, I did a search on the entire book for the word "Nono" and it only appears in those 2 aforementioned instances.

Nono was my wife's name. What are the odds that this very highly unusual name just appears in my book, on the 1 year anniversary of her passing, when there is absolutely no reason for it to be in there?

Again, had it been just this, I would think it was kind of interesting but probably not think about it too much. But I have had about a dozen or so things just like that happen.