Help Should I Stop My Medication?

[Renv1o_]

Genuinely, I don't know what to do. I started Sertraline (Zoloft) a long while ago.
It's helped me so I can go outside and talk to people without feeling unbelievably shit. I used to be borderline agoraphobic; overthinking every small thing that happened to me and never leaving my house or passing windows. Therapy didn't help so I cycled through medication until finding one that was slightly more bearable.

But, in starting this medication, I relapsed into sh and can't do any of the things I enjoy anymore. I'm not completely apathetic or "numb," I just can't get that sense of irreplaceable excitment that drove me to create things even when I was at my lowest. I can't draw anymore. I really, really can't.

Even when I was actively suicidal, I could at LEAST draw. I could at least get excited about the artists I looked up to, but I just can't anymore. I feel like I'm grieving a part of myself. I dont know if it sounds stupid or petty or childish.
I mean, I can function (for the most part) despite being overwhelmed with everything. I'm doing what everyone wants of me, but I just cant fucking draw. Art was all I had at one point, the one constant in my life to keep me afloat. I'm scared and miss everything I used to be, even if I was objectively "worse."

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I suggest you talk about this with the doctor who prescribed it to you instead of seeking advice from us. What you're experiencing is a common effect of SSRIS. If you come to the firm conclusion that you are better off not on it and they are not amenable, tell them you want to taper anyways and want guidelines on that.

 

[Renv1o_]

I suggest you talk about this with the doctor who prescribed it to you instead of seeking advice from us. What you're experiencing is a common effect of SSRIS. If you come to the firm conclusion that you are better off not on it and they are not amenable, tell them you want to taper anyways and want guidelines on that.

I did speak to my doctor and she laughed and said: "What's more important, being able to go outside, or being able to draw?" Lowkey really humiliating. I asked if she thought messing with my dose could help, and she kinda shrugged it off. It's been a few months since then.

 

[dopaminedeath]

I did speak to my doctor and she laughed and said: "What's more important, being able to go outside, or being able to draw?" Lowkey really humiliating. I asked if she thought messing with my dose could help, and she kinda shrugged it off. It's been a few months since then.

Get a second opinion. Is it a psychiatrist or a GP? Cause psychs usually know better than to laugh it off and have a range of meds to replace something you're not liking.

 

[Ash]

I came off my meds without consulting anyone and it wasn't until I went back on them over a year later that I realised how out of control my anger in particular had been. I have so many regrets about that, especially because I could have fixed it in one phone call if I'd just realised.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I did speak to my doctor and she laughed and said: "What's more important, being able to go outside, or being able to draw?" Lowkey really humiliating. I asked if she thought messing with my dose could help, and she kinda shrugged it off. It's been a few months since then.

That's horrible but certainly what I expect out of a psychiatrist. I'm so sorry she said that crap to you. Do you think you can really attribute the greater comfort you have going outside to taking that med?

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I did. I'd been on stuff for a solid 9 years or so, and it didn't really help too much. My sadder emotions are definitely stronger without them, but they also blocked out all my other feelings so I didn't want to go on with life if I was stuck like that

 

[dinosavr]

Imo you should definitely see other doctor. It's not okay that you have something that made you feel better and it's suddenly gone because ironically you started taking meds that were supposed to help you.
Such effects of medication may be acceptable when someone is in huge crisis and needs help with not killing themselves immediately. But when you look for meds that you won't take temporarily but the ones that are supposed to change your life and actually make you happier, it's completely unnecessary, and for sure there are other drugs that could work better. At least they should try some other options. You have nothing to lose, you won't be able to enjoy life without the one thing that you love :( You don't deserve that and I'm really sorry!

 

[thatwasit]

But, in starting this medication, I relapsed into sh and can't do any of the things I enjoy anymore. I'm not completely apathetic or "numb," I just can't get that sense of irreplaceable excitment that drove me to create things even when I was at my lowest. I can't draw anymore. I really, really can't.

Even when I was actively suicidal, I could at LEAST draw. I could at least get excited about the artists I looked up to, but I just can't anymore. I feel like I'm grieving a part of myself. I dont know if it sounds stupid or petty or childish.
I mean, I can function (for the most part) despite being overwhelmed with everything. I'm doing what everyone wants of me, but I just cant fucking draw. Art was all I had at one point, the one constant in my life to keep me afloat. I'm scared and miss everything I used to be, even if I was objectively "worse."

Same, and I've never been on meds.