Venting should i keep living

[HappyPotato69]

i dont have a particular reason to ctb at this EXACT moment, but i know for a fact ctb will be the end for me. ill never get a good job bc i dont have the passion for it at all, and thats IF i get a regular ass job too. i know for a fact that when shit hits the fan in the future, ill js ctb, and it makes dealing with all the daily nuisances and issues hell which makes me wonder why im waiting for shit to hit the fan when i dont wanna be dealing with day to day life either. Im only 18 and been suicidal for 4 yrs so ik that some of u have way more experience and id like to know if itll ever change

 

[Mr.Ruben]

as someone in a similar case (of numbers) missing a great piece of art (movie, animation, illustration, music, game, picture) makes me want to live, these small wonderful sounds that I feel as if I where in a bathtub slowly being caressed, sometimes by tears on how I see the dedication and love someone put in a single image for months of his life.

ill be honest, dying seems so simple and art so unimportant sometimes, but there is things I am not satisfied with, if I will die of ctb, let me experience the most extreme emotion of hatred, love, happiness, see the person I love grow becoming a wonderful person. perhaps I should become a wonderful person too.

 

[00ps]

i'm not speaking for me but for a friend. they went from having a note, having a plan, attempting and then failing (the belt broke), to completely turning it around. he's currently becoming an EMT and he has been doing insanely better. his recovery is sometimes baffling to me because of everything he was dealing with. it's like the world said "fuck you in particular" to him and yet he managed to do a 180. for some it absolutely can get better and there can be change and recovery. it takes a long time from what i can tell, but it's steady progress and it worked out in the end for him