Venting Shes gonna leave me.

[nopurposeinanything]

me and my favorite person are arguing right now. I know she's gonna leave me and she's so mad at me for i dont even know why anymore. She's being dry and just rude. She has so much other freinds and I dont even know why the fuck she talks to me—does she like the attention or something?? Im genuinely so upset and I know i dont really mean anything to her anyway. She thinks im ignoring her but im fucking not. I fucking told her I cant lose her, and you know what she says??? she says "why is that?" ???? why the fuck do you think? Obviously she dosent feel the same way I do i guess. She says I ignore her but she plays roblox all the time and dosent even think to reply to me, so. She dosent even believe anything I say. The worst part is, I can't even fucking cry because of my antidepressants. All I want to do is cry so bad and I just can't. Why dosent anyone stay? Why does everyone leave me after a while? am I boring? am I annoying? I dont know whats wrong with me. Why does no one stay? this is why I need to kill myself. I can't fucking do this.

 

[jeevasO-o]

Omg I'm in the same situation excatly same situation with my irl I think best friend I don't know I don't even think we're best friends like she was my favorite person too but I don't know what to feel anymore. I know I'm probably almost nothing in her life

 

[Karrikin]

I'm no expert —quite the opposite actually. But I mean, for these sort of things isn't communication what's important? She's not telling you, you don't know, etc. It seems very one sided on who cares and its a shame your efforts are treated like that. But, even still I can't/wont personally say that's 100% intentional (though it seems like it.) Besides, has it always been like this? If she's your favorite person there has to be a reason why. Also, I personally wouldn't immediately go for self termination and blame until getting that from her. I wish you the best though and stay strong.

 

[stinky_joe]

Accept it, shes never gonna be the way you want her to be. Shes never going to give you the affection and attention you wish to be given. I dont know how it was before but from now on you need to stop hoping for things that will never come. I also knew a girl like this and she herself told me that she would never ever love me like I love her. Then I cut my contact with her and never spoke to her again. Not just what she said but how she treated me that time made me realize i was working very fucking hard for something impossible as if I was trying to push a wall expecting it to move. It hurt. It hurt so damn much. I kept thinking about her and I still do time to time. It still hurts but if I were to keep trying I would be in a way worse and also humiliating position. You need to realize that you WONT get anything in return right now no matter how good you treat that person. Dont try to hold onto someone whos trying to walk away because as soon as you let go of them they will leave you. You cant keep holding on forever. If you try, you will only hurt yourself more and more. You need to let go off her and stand strong on your feet. Maybe in the future youll come across someone who is not gonna run away from you, instead they will be there with you through hard times. Even if you dont come across someone like that, youll be much better standing on your own than trying to hold someone so they dont run away. You are not the problem. They are.

 

[chaewon]

U

Accept it, shes never gonna be the way you want her to be. Shes never going to give you the affection and attention you wish to be given. I dont know how it was before but from now on you need to stop hoping for things that will never come. I also knew a girl like this and she herself told me that she would never ever love me like I love her. Then I cut my contact with her and never spoke to her again. Not just what she said but how she treated me that time made me realize i was working very fucking hard for something impossible as if I was trying to push a wall expecting it to move. It hurt. It hurt so damn much. I kept thinking about her and I still do time to time. It still hurts but if I were to keep trying I would be in a way worse and also humiliating position. You need to realize that you WONT get anything in return right now no matter how good you treat that person. Dont try to hold onto someone whos trying to walk away because as soon as you let go of them they will leave you. You cant keep holding on forever. If you try, you will only hurt yourself more and more. You need to let go off her and stand strong on your feet. Maybe in the future youll come across someone who is not gonna run away from you, instead they will be there with you through hard times. Even if you dont come across someone like that, youll be much better standing on your own than trying to hold someone so they dont run away. You are not the problem. They are.

U are strong as fuck lol damn

 

[stinky_joe]

U

U are strong as fuck lol damn

XD No definitely not... I had to make that choice because i knew the other option was gonna lead to something even worse. It hurt so so so much it still hurts BUT this way, i can let my body heal. If I had not cut contact with her she would just keep my wounds open and not let them heal. A few weekz from now, I'll feel much better and I'll have more hope towards life. Even as a weak and insecure human, I understood what I had to do and I did it. If I could, im sure everyone else can. You need to feel your pride and your ego, you need to realize that you are your own god. You have the power to do whats right for you so go ahead and do it.

Also some recommendations to help get through this kind of situation

ChatGPT: Not the most enjoyable conversations but when I briefly explained to chatgpt what had happened, he helped me realize that I wasnt gonna get what I wanted and also that she didnt value me etc.

Going for walks: I normally dont go outside unless I have to but going for walks and breathing some fresh air helps calm my mind down and relax so ive been doing it more nowadays.

Voice recording: After walking a bit I'd go to a park, sit and record myself talking about a topic like "am I worthless" or "losing hope" etc. Since I had lost the only person who I thought understood me, I didnt have anyone to talk to but this was a way to let out the things that were eating me from the inside.

Socializing: Cant say I've done this but surely this is a really good way to heal.

Hobbies: I enjoy playing guitar and working out. There can be times where you wont havr any energy to do anything and thats okay. Though, If you have even a little energy you should get up and do something you normally enjoy. Also like watching movies or anime or maybe cooking.

Alcohol and cigarettes can help for short periods of time but they can be addictive so you should be 100% certain that you can quit when you have healed.

These are all I could think of for now haha I hope I can be of help to someone

 

[chaewon]

XD No definitely not... I had to make that choice because i knew the other option was gonna lead to something even worse. It hurt so so so much it still hurts BUT this way, i can let my body heal. If I had not cut contact with her she would just keep my wounds open and not let them heal. A few weekz from now, I'll feel much better and I'll have more hope towards life. Even as a weak and insecure human, I understood what I had to do and I did it. If I could, im sure everyone else can. You need to feel your pride and your ego, you need to realize that you are your own god. You have the power to do whats right for you so go ahead and do it.

Also some recommendations to help get through this kind of situation

ChatGPT: Not the most enjoyable conversations but when I briefly explained to chatgpt what had happened, he helped me realize that I wasnt gonna get what I wanted and also that she didnt value me etc.

Going for walks: I normally dont go outside unless I have to but going for walks and breathing some fresh air helps calm my mind down and relax so ive been doing it more nowadays.

Voice recording: After walking a bit I'd go to a park, sit and record myself talking about a topic like "am I worthless" or "losing hope" etc. Since I had lost the only person who I thought understood me, I didnt have anyone to talk to but this was a way to let out the things that were eating me from the inside.

Socializing: Cant say I've done this but surely this is a really good way to heal.

Hobbies: I enjoy playing guitar and working out. There can be times where you wont havr any energy to do anything and thats okay. Though, If you have even a little energy you should get up and do something you normally enjoy. Also like watching movies or anime or maybe cooking.

Alcohol and cigarettes can help for short periods of time but they can be addictive so you should be 100% certain that you can quit when you have healed.

These are all I could think of for now haha I hope I can be of help to someone

Thank u alot, I am in a similar situation except I did not breakup after the first situation where i should have or even the hundredth situation, so like u said I got fucked up even more and more and all the hopes and wishes I had that made me keep going never once came true anyways. i will try the voice recording thing as I have tried it once before and it actually does help. ty

 

[stinky_joe]

Thank u alot, I am in a similar situation except I did not breakup after the first situation where i should have or even the hundredth situation, so like u said I got fucked up even more and more and all the hopes and wishes I had that made me keep going never once came true anyways. i will try the voice recording thing as I have tried it once before and it actually does help. ty

Better late than never i guess haha i hope you can heal quickly. Just know that ur doing yourself a big favor. Sending hugs <3