
CHOSEVIOLENCE
♱ No more counting dollars we'll be counting stars
- Jul 24, 2024
- 32
I have had many failed/thwarted CTB attempts in my lifetime. My ex-psychiatrist mused that it must not be my time to die, and I wonder if it's true. I'm still looking for other methods despite my repeated failures because I really do want out of this life, but I've already spent over $2,000 in total from my failed attempts, money I could've used to help pay off my debt instead. What's to say the money I spend on my next attempt won't just result in more failure/money wasted? It may seem illogical to keep trying after so much failure, but I am desperate and have even been considering more painful methods so long as they yield results (I was going to drown in a river, but the bridge is patrolled at night, so I've never gotten the opportunity). It may sound odd, but I'm honestly tired of putting in so much effort to die. I and no one else should have to invest this much time and resources in having an at least somewhat pleasant death.