Venting semi-vent about medical help

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why dont doctors.... believe you? why is everything attributed to stress or known mental illness? Is it that hard to believe that I can be sick both physically and mentally? And why did the doctor i go to today tell me that my problems were "nothing to worry about" since they've been going on for so long? Isnt thst even more reason to worry?? I hate it. The fact the I have to hide that I have a history of depression/anxiety out of fear that thats all theyll see. I hate having to pretend that Im not stressed out or suicidal because if I am then thats the only possible cause of my somatic problems. Like is it that hard to believe that I want to die because of how sick i am, and not that im sick because i want to die.
Oh yeah and now if i ctb and they find out. you know what theyre gonna say? I told you so.

 

[FuneralCry]

Often doctors can just cause more harm. It must be very frustrating what you are going through and I'm sorry that you had that experience. It does feel as though there is no real relief from suffering in a life like this.

 

[onmywayhome]

I feel you so deeply. And I'm so sorry you are being treated like this!! The same has been happening to me ever since I started seeing doctors, psychologists, psychiatrist (some 20+ years ago). They're so quick to blame everything on mental illness, when often it's the physical conditions that cause the mental health issues (I know that to be my case).

It's already a nightmare to be ill, but to be ill and have your illness completely dismissed and blamed on your psych issues, is downright dystopian and that alone can be enough reason to make one want to ctb. I will tell you that imo, with extremely rare exceptions, doctors are one of the shittiest kinds of people on this planet. So arrogant, so lazy, so unempathetic, so incompetent both emotionally and intellectually... when you would expect them to be the complete opposite of that.

I mean, have you ever met a doctor who became a doctor for altruistic reasons, simply because they actually wanted to help people (not for the 'power', not for the money, not for selfish self-satisfaction)? Well, it's clear to me that I haven't ever. They completely ruined my health and life and what they've done is the entire reason of my depression and also why I want to ctb. And of course, they simply don't care.

I think a big part of the problem is that they almost never ever face any consequences for fucking things up and treating people like shit. They're basically "untouchable" and nothing ever weights on their conscience. So why be different? Honestly, fuck doctors!