Self sabotage

[ClairyFairy]

When my mind starts shifting to a reality of ctb I start to sabotage myself. I stop paying things, I spend everything I have on pointless rubbish, I stop doing things that make me a functioning member of society to make it easier to leave. Then I fail and I've got to start all over again but I do it again so that it makes it easier to check out of this life. I can't stop this cycle. I don't know how

 

[Scotty]

I understand. I have been completely dismantling my life for the last couple of months I think so that I eventually have to go through with it.

 

[Polly]

I can't seem to succeed at fully dismantling my life. So I keep in having to deal with the damage I created

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm having the same issue with this annoying cycle.
My days are like: "Okay, gonna live. Let's work. Okay, I'm sad and tired, let's drink. The following day: daaamn ,why did I drink and why did I get so depressed?"

It never ends.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I understand. I have been completely dismantling my life for the last couple of months I think so that I eventually have to go through with it.

That's exactly what I do but I've just gotta try and pull it back when I fail and it's so hard every time

I can't seem to succeed at fully dismantling my life. So I keep in having to deal with the damage I created

This is it man

I'm having the same issue with this annoying cycle.
My days are like: "Okay, gonna live. Let's work. Okay, I'm sad and tired, let's drink. The following day: daaamn ,why did I drink and why did I get so depressed?"

It never ends.

It's like monthly or 6 monthly cycles with me

 

[tpurced]

I'm having the same issue with this annoying cycle.
My days are like: "Okay, gonna live. Let's work. Okay, I'm sad and tired, let's drink. The following day: daaamn ,why did I drink and why did I get so depressed?"

It never ends.

I'm experiencing the exact same effect where I start off motivated- until that little thing throws me off and then it's a hell hole. And then I as well question why, but it doesn't change the cycle which always repeats.

For me it happens on a daily basis sometimes and otherwise weekly. It's an endless cycle for me as well dood.