Self-injury as punishment?

[meles_inoris]

I snapped today. Over about $35. I broke a glass, threw my medicine on the floor, threatened to kill myself, pushed my elderly grandmother, screamed until I lost my voice, asked my father why he doesn't rape me, and attempted to shove a broom into my anus dry.

This is not the last incident like this. In fact it is the second in two weeks.

It is very evident that my father does not want me in his house. I plan to run away from home very soon, to spare him of any future suffering.

I absolutely cannot live with the fact that I have destroyed every facet of his life. Please suggest me ways I can hurt myself as punishment for what I have done.

 

[Mich517]

I was working on maths tasks a lot once and when I was spacing out I was stroking my arm with ball pen as a punishment. Now I don't have any scars/pits after that.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I snapped today. Over about $35. I broke a glass, threw my medicine on the floor, threatened to kill myself, pushed my elderly grandmother, screamed until I lost my voice, asked my father why he doesn't rape me, and attempted to shove a broom into my anus dry.

This is not the last incident like this. In fact it is the second in two weeks.

It is very evident that my father does not want me in his house. I plan to run away from home very soon, to spare him of any future suffering.

I absolutely cannot live with the fact that I have destroyed every facet of his life. Please suggest me ways I can hurt myself as punishment for what I have done.

Change your behavior. Apologize to your grandmother. That will do a lot more good than just hurting yourself.