Venting Self harm is a comfort to me

[DrinkingInHell]

I hadn't cut myself in a long time. I usually just take pills and try to sleep when I'm feeling my worst, but tonight I grabbed one of my shaving razors and cut myself. It felt so amazing, mentally that is. My arm still burns and stings terribly, but I love it for the fact that I am feeling at least *something*. When I can't find happiness, pain is the next best thing. Both a punishment to myself and the things I despise about me, and a release of my turmoil onto my skin, allowing me to feel something other than the deep boredom and un-satisfaction I almost constantly feel in regards to living.
And with the shaving razor I have, it is slightly seratted. It snags on my skin, making the cuts hurt a lot more than the pocket knives I used to cut with as a teen.
The only thing I regret is the fact that I have work tomorrow and hadn't thought about how hot it may be out, but even then the sliver comfort self harm brought me tonight is worth it.

 

[johnlubber69]

I've always had this overwhelming desire to thrust a blade into my gut. I can't get it out of my mind. I fully understand your need for this.

 

[EmptyBottle]

ah, that's why ppl SH.
For me, I sometimes twist my hands back and forth fast, being able to feel many collisions between my fingers (not to the point of causing pain) releases boredom (or channels excitement)