Scared I won’t ctb

[jimmy7754]

I'm scared I won't ctb… anybody else?? I want to go.. I don't want to be tortured anymore by the pressure of the world.. covid ruined everything for me.. I don't want to re invent myself again.. I can't stand how the world works against me..

 

[som1]

I am not scared now but I do worry I will be when I'm in the hotel room all alone about to drink SN. I can't back out, I need to be brave and do it. It's what's best for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I am trapped in this world because ctb is so difficult. I lack the option of a peaceful and reliable way to exit and there is the fear of failure. I am terrified of life, I know that for me the future holds even more misery and pain. I just wish it was easier to leave, I hope to fall asleep and never wake. I'm sorry you are suffering. I wish you the best.

 

[Red Scare]

It depends on the method I guess... if I had access to N and a peaceful exit were assured then I would feel a lot more confidence about it.

 

[SpaceCadet]

In my case i'm waiting for rock bottom, when i can't pay rent, food or provide for myself anymore, then i guess ctbing becomes sort of a do or do situation. I'm trying to get back on my feet and overcome my struggles, if it doesn't work atleast i tried and i will die in peace.