Venting Resenting those who love me for making it harder to leave

[areagarden]

I hate it when my friends talk about how much i mean to them. I hate it when they want to make plans with me or talk about our future together. I know it should make me feel loved or supported, but all it does is make it feel harder to leave. If only them caring about me was enough. All it does now is add salt to the wound.

 

[romanbrown]

you never know if they actually love you. love is strong claim, conditional love is easy in this world but unconditional love is difficult in this world. i favour unconditional love so i'd like to not be quick to believe that they ACTUALLY love you, not in a valuable way

I hate it when my friends talk about how much i mean to them. I hate it when they want to make plans with me or talk about our future together. I know it should make me feel loved or supported, but all it does is make it feel harder to leave. If only them caring about me was enough. All it does now is add salt to the wound.

you should test their love

 

[Front Back]

I hate our morality man, There's people who kill and starve thousand and could sleep peacefully while we here stuck, being afraid of hurting one person

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

I hate it when my friends talk about how much i mean to them. I hate it when they want to make plans with me or talk about our future together. I know it should make me feel loved or supported, but all it does is make it feel harder to leave. If only them caring about me was enough. All it does now is add salt to the wound.

There are people who are completely alone with absolutely no one and nothing to be happy about to keep them from wanting to hurt themselves. Truly, nothing. You sound like you have a lot of love and support. You would be hurting these people tremendously. Have you tried any medications? Sometimes, just the right one for you can make a tremendous difference!! I wish you love and luck. I hope you can find some relief from these intrusive feelings. You have much to live for. Don't give up yet!!

 

[Myforevercharlie]

you never know if they actually love you. love is strong claim, conditional love is easy in this world but unconditional love is difficult in this world. i favour unconditional love so i'd like to not be quick to believe that they ACTUALLY love you, not in a valuable way

you should test their love

Seems to me OP knows how much they love them , their friends are clearly showing.

Don't think

you never know if they actually love you. love is strong claim, conditional love is easy in this world but unconditional love is difficult in this world. i favour unconditional love so i'd like to not be quick to believe that they ACTUALLY love you, not in a valuable way

you should test their love

OP feels guilty about leaving people behind, not testing how much they care

( And it seems to me OP knows they care...)

 

[soullessnes]

Only my mom is holding me back. I've already isolated myself and started beef with my brothers.

 

[eviltwin]

I know what you mean. I'm really close with my parents and I love them too much to hurt them again. It would destroy the remainder of their lives. I feel trapped here. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it for them, they are quite old though so at least the wait won't be super long. I hold so much guilt even saying stuff like that but it's true