relationships when your head is screwed

[Weird username]

I think this disorder is one of the worst things that can ever happen to a human

it feels like you have a million cuts that are always bleeding

I was in a loving relationship for six years with the most wonderful guy on earth
we were never compatible to be fair,he fell in love with me and I found myself in this relationship though I never developed any romantic feelings for my partner

always had feelings of a friend,mother,sister but nothing romantic
I think it is called a favourite person
I cared about him very much though
always cooked his favourite food,ironed etc

we didn't have much in common either but shared a lot of same character qualities and moral principles

he loved me and gave me everything

few months ago I have decided that I am breaking up with him because I couldn't see us going on further
he wants a child,I thought that I dont want to divorce later when we have a child and I might develop postpartum depression

I have been hurting his feelings many times and was always aware of it
was apologising and trying to make up for it but it still leaves scars

I am a quiet bpd, that's why he never even noticed that I had major issues
most of my emotions stay inside but I do get very depressed and sad

I think that I did the right thing of breaking up because he really deserves someone who will also love him as a romantic partner
I could never offer that,though I tried

he also deserves a mentally healthy and happy person

he moved on now and met a wonderful woman
I am still to pick up my belongings from our apartment,our home,we also have a cat
it hurts so much, I lost my best friend and the most wonderful man but another part of me is so happy for him

I would really appreciate any advice if anyone been in a situation like that

hate this disease, constant battle that is never ending

and the feeling of being abandoned is crazy now

 

[LoveYoux]

Wow, that is enough to make anyone cry..
Do your best to keep your head up, you've been through the ringer, no denying that

It's good that you're in a place to begin healing from the relationship, but I know how horrible everything feels right now, and how impossible it is to approach things
Give yourself time, you're grieving, you're guilt-stricken, you're sad and you're vulnerable, sorry to be a bit direct

Absolutely fantastic that you've opened up like this, really admirable, and really positive

My PM is completely open, just do your best to look after you, remind yourself that you're allowed to, and it does all come down to time unfortunately

Don't feel like you need to do anything. And certainly don't do anything because you feel like you need to.

Just go at your own pace, I'm sorry that this is happening x

 

[Weird username]

Wow, that is enough to make anyone cry..
Do your best to keep your head up, you've been through the ringer, no denying that

It's good that you're in a place to begin healing from the relationship, but I know how horrible everything feels right now, and how impossible it is to approach things
Give yourself time, you're grieving, you're guilt-stricken, you're sad and you're vulnerable, sorry to be a bit direct

Absolutely fantastic that you've opened up like this, really admirable, and really positive

My PM is completely open, just do your best to look after you, remind yourself that you're allowed to, and it does all come down to time unfortunately

Don't feel like you need to do anything. And certainly don't do anything because you feel like you need to.

Just go at your own pace, I'm sorry that this is happening x

you really are wonderful human ❤
thank you for all the support