I was close to contemplating CTB back in November. Then I went on anti depressants and it was great for a while. Actually no. It was never great. It was okay at best. Now I'm close to losing all my money, I have no friends and I don't even care about any of it. I didn't feel sad for three months and today it all came back. So I took a Xanax bar to shut it out. Waiting to pass out tonight and wake up tomorrow and do some more until I run out and then hopefully can muster up the courage to CTB. I hate my life. I hate what the pandemic did to me. I'll never be the same and I cannot be better anymore. I'm going to pass out every day until someone forgets I exist. At this point, it doesn't matter. If anyone read the book "My Year of Rest and Relaxation" -- that's my plan.
Hopefully I'll be able to find my peace and CTB one day. All I wish for.
Hopefully I'll be able to find my peace and CTB one day. All I wish for.
