Recovery in and of itself discourages recovery

[Life_and_Death]

Understanding Why Eating More Feels Impossible in Early Recovery

Gastroparesis often complicates recovery from eating disorders following decreased intake and weight loss. Increased intake and weight gain are key.

www.verywellmind.com

How Long Does It Take to Improve from Symptoms of Gastroparesis?
Research shows that delayed gastric emptying can often be significantly improved in about 8 weeks with nutritional rehabilitation—even without medication— if significant weight is gained. It can recur if weight is lost again.

I've been nauseous for a week straight, i throw up now and again. im sick if i dont eat, im sick if i do eat. im freezing and sweating at the same time. im bitching im cold (goosebumps and everything) my exhus is like "its 23 degrees in here, its not cold".
why do i want to recover if im just going to feel like shit!

not to mention im atypical, my lowest weight was 105lbs and im 5ft3. gain more weight, WHAT WEIGHT!? I ALREADY FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT IT!! being atypical is like a horrible curse... you can starve yourself just as much without the "satisfying" results