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KattinKai!

KattinKai!

KrazyKat
Nov 9, 2025
96
Reasons I Want to Die
1. I hate myself and feel like I have no reason to live.
2. I have school trauma, such as teasing/bullying, always being blamed and picked on, and teachers holding me down during autistic meltdowns.
3. Everybody hates an autistic person.
4. Family related trauma, in which my mom and dad got divorced when I was 4, and they both had drug problems and my dad was physically abusive to me and mom. When I moved in with my mom at 8-9, when she regained custody, she was sweet, but held me down, hit me with a wooden spoon or her hand, yelled at me, insulted me, threatened me, and made uncomfortable comments about my body and would vent to me regularly, even though I was the child. My family held me down during meltdowns, put soap in my mouth because I would retaliate by biting. My brother made me undress as a joke a few times (Sometimes without shirt, sometimes with underwear) and touched my breasts one time, pantsed me in public. Then my mother had relationship issues, so I hear a lot of arguing between her and her boyfriends
5. People wanna be creeps to me online and tell me to fuck off and die when I was young.
6. My mother and brother denied everything and I still love them.
7. I live with my dad now, and he breaks things when pissed and is hypocritical, and brought up my mother in an argument I had with him. Always blames me for my mistakes and was sarcastic during a breakdown I had.
8. Therapy isn't doing shit.
9. I already failed attempted overdoses 6 times, in which for one, my mother refused to get me medical treatment, and an ex friend shamed me for.
10. At a new school that hates Trans people. Guess what I am (Woman to Demi-Man: He/It)
11. I have a lot of regrets.
12. I don't want to spend my whole life reliving what happened and being the worst person to ever exist.

Reasons I Want to Live:
1. I love my partner too damn much and don't want to make her cry.
2. My cat.
3. I wanna write, make art, and sing
4. Stomach Book, Maretu, Kikuo, and Abu-Se-Ken

I wanna die, and I have no idea how. I wanna get my hands on a gun somehow. I wanna die quickly, and I don't know how.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Dogtor
KattinKai!

KattinKai!

KrazyKat
Nov 9, 2025
96
Yeah, I have a method in mind. I've mentioned multiple times (Night-Night) and I plan to get what I need, although I don't know where I'm gonna get the cheapest versions, especially since a cornhole bag is kinda small for my head. I will feel so terrible though, because the only person that cares about me would me so heartbroken. I don't want to upset her, but I really want to die... I'll consider writing a huge paragraph to her before I do. I'll commit next year. Not sure about dates, so wish me luck, and again, tips are appreciated.
 

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