Ready to share my latest near attempt experience. I can't do this DIY thing.

[Area Man]

I had been feeling depressed and flat before I started drinking that day. I had been out in public and exposed to their criticism as a figure of public ridicule yet again. I'm not sure how I got irritated to the point I settled on an attempt but had a break where I was at a point I could see myself stabbing myself in the throat. It was an abstract idea and I was thinking I would stab several time in my artery and it would be a release as I fade out to sleep. Alas I got home that night after passing through the depressing fog of a tram journey and the walk home. I was there in the kitchen and looking at this blade. I even put it to my neck a couple of times. I still couldn't overcome the instinct that prevented me from going through with it.

I realised that honestly these DIY attempts are unrealistic fantasy's for me though I badly feel I need a release from my circumstances. I'm unwanted and alienated from everyone and have crumbled to my issues. I'm autistic with severe OCD symptoms and suffering a perpetual humiliation for being creepy and inadequate. I don't see a light in all honesty. It's up on the internet, though I'm not sure where, what has been spread around about me to destroy my hopes of a new life. Nothing good is around the corner, just more shame and humiliation.

Honestly how can we not have some legal suicide option for the severely mentally ill and social compromised? How does one advocate for that in order to benefit?

 

[FuneralCry]

I am sorry that you are suffering so much, I know that it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. I can imagine that it must be unbearable what you are going through. I do wish we lived in a world where our right to die is respected and then we could just exit peacefully when the time is right for us. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Huntfish34]

That's pretty Fckn intense,. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of that. Never with a knife,. But I've had the barrel of my gun to my head numerous times and still can't do it myself.

I wish you Nothing but the best,. You are not alone. -

 

[Area Man]

Well I'm in a country where I don't have the gun option and obviously methods like stabbing or hanging seem slow and unpleasant.

Thanks for the kind wishes.

 

[Hotsackage]

Im the same my ocd is spiking out of control. It really isnt leaving me an option. I wish you the best in whatever you decide