Venting Ranting and venting a bit

[sayuri]

Basically I'm the person that earns more money in my family, so I need to financially support everyone because it's just fair to do this. It's a great toll on my mental tho because when problems pile up I feel unable to do anything and it gets so bad I can't work properly. It's been a month like that and I feel like shit. I really need to keep it together and just work but I've been burned out to the core. I need rest but my mind feels restless.

I just hope everything can be solved.

 

[timf]

The family is the basic survival unit of existence. In recent years some have turned to the government as an almost substitute for family, but that does not seem to be working out. In a family the problem of leadership usually falls on the shoulders of a father. However, this is not always the case.

In a corporation a manager leader can deal with problems such as not enough work by laying people off. In a family this is not a workable solution. In ancient Rome a family usually had a slave that acted as steward. This person would control the money, assign work, provide tools, and otherwise direct the family activities. A family, optimally, works together for the benefit of all.

It sounds like the stress of leadership is starting to wear on you. If there is no one who can share the load, perhaps there is someone who you could share you anxieties with such that the load is easier to bear.

 

[Redacted24]

It's also important to show yourself some grace. You can only do what you can do. Things may pile up, but it doesn't all have to end up on your shoulders.
That's what I try to remind myself when the stuff that needs fixing gets beyond what I can keep up with.
But, yeah it still bugs me a lot to see things undone... be kind with yourself!

 

[sayuri]

It sounds like the stress of leadership is starting to wear on you. If there is no one who can share the load, perhaps there is someone who you could share you anxieties with such that the load is easier to bear.

Well, it's complicated. I wouldn't say I'm really a leader, at least I didn't put myself in this position and I hardly have a say in matters in my family. I'm just the quiet person that tries to help everyone out. But this helping part is what ends up piling up, people rely a lot on me, people ask a lot from me, and sometimes I can't do it all, I just can't.
This is wearing me out so much that I wish I had a break from everything and everyone but it's pretty much impossible. I need some time off and rest.

 

[timf]

It is a kind heart that wants to help and provide. However, there is always a risk of dependency. People can grow to ask for more. If this happens you may face having to give with conditions. This is seldom appreciated. If there is someone with more of a leadership role, you might give through that person and let them deal with any ingratitude.

As far a rest goes if you have any vacation time or sick time, you might want to take a few days off and check into a motel somewhere and indulge yourself with books or movies. I have always found a motel with a pool will usually has a heated Jacuzzi that can be pretty relaxing.

 

[sayuri]

As far a rest goes if you have any vacation time or sick time, you might want to take a few days off and check into a motel somewhere and indulge yourself with books or movies. I have always found a motel with a pool will usually has a heated Jacuzzi that can be pretty relaxing.

I appreciate the advice, hopefully I can manage to set boundaries better, it's something I struggle with a lot. As for the vacation time I really need like nature time so I might just rent a cabin in the woods for a bit and go fishing, it's crazy how nature time makes me feel better.

 

[hoppybunny]

Basically I'm the person that earns more money in my family, so I need to financially support everyone because it's just fair to do this. It's a great toll on my mental tho because when problems pile up I feel unable to do anything and it gets so bad I can't work properly. It's been a month like that and I feel like shit. I really need to keep it together and just work but I've been burned out to the core. I need rest but my mind feels restless.

I just hope everything can be solved.

So sorry. I hope everything turns out ok. Is there a reason your family can't provide for themselves? It seems unfair to me.

While it's a dream of mine to provide for my entire family, i feel comfort knowing i don't have to because my family can take care of themselves. So im just wondering why they would put so.much pressure on you like that.