Venting Rabbit died and made my roommate cry today

[WaitingForTheBusInTh]

Today was a bad day. I was about to go to the pet store for my rabbit when he had a seizure. He died on the way to the emergency vet.
I've spoken to my roommate about my desire to ctb, and when I mentioned that I had ordered the stuff I plan to use if/when I do, she started crying. She wont tell anyone because she knows how much I dont want to go to a psych ward. I wish i hadn't told her anything but it was a weak moment and I forgot my filter.
I've put her in a bad spot between wanting me around vs respecting my wishes and I dont plan to discuss anything further with her but boy do I feel awful
I'm torn between making friends and family hurt vs the amount of pain I go through by being here

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry for the loss of your rabbit. I would recommend not talking to your roommate about ctb unless you're seeking help. It hurts loved ones to hear about it, and it could put them in a panic state where they want to fix or change things that are just too far gone.

 

[WaitingForTheBusInTh]

I'm sorry for the loss of your rabbit. I would recommend not talking to your roommate about ctb unless you're seeking help. It hurts loved ones to hear about it, and it could put them in a panic state where they want to fix or change things that are just too far gone.

Thanks. And yeah I've figured that out the hard way. Wish I could reload a previous save but life isnt like games.
Also, of help could actually help, I'd be happy to get help. But I've been through a mental hospital before and it did not help. Medications worked for a bit I guess but I dont have the time to do drug trials again

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm so sorry about your rabbit, sending compassion for your grieving.

As far as your roommate, for what it's worth, I don't know that it's a good idea to not discuss it with her again. I don't know your way of managing things, nor hers, but I think it might be wise, now that you've shared that with her, to give her the opportunity to share with you how she feels, what she's thinking, etc. That way it's not a burden for her, nor for you, but something within your shared relationship that you can both talk about in a safe and understanding, non-judgemental way. You're each having a different experience about the same subject, and you both need compassion, respect, acceptance, and to be heard. If this advice doesn't resonate for you, that's cool, and I apologize if I overstepped by offering unwanted or unhelpful advice. Sending compassion for both of you. I wish I could comfort each of you, and i wish I had the capacity to fix things so that you didn't want to ctb and your life could be great -- I wish I could do that for myself and for everyone.

 

[heraclitus]

I'm sorry for the loss of your rabbit. The pain of loss is extreme. The box you opened cannot now be easily closed. Give your roomate room to process and share back on this: discussion may even help you.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm so sorry for the rabbit!
I had one who lived about 7 years. He was a badass.

As suggested, I'd say you give your roommate her space.

(btw, I'm glad she won't tell anyone about your situation so that you don't end up in a psych ward. That's amazing.)

 

[whatevs]

In no way I would say letting someone know about your suicidal feelings and seeing that person seems to care is a misstep or something to regret. I think talking about it it's very important.