(question for students/people with mentally strenuous jobs) Inability to think deeply/retain information

[iamalreadydead]

i gave up on trying when i was around 8 years old because of childhood depression, i remember being able to study and was 'smart' & was in a stupid 'young leaders' program at school because of how quickly i caught onto things, but completely gave up and succumbed because of neglect/abuse/suicidality & extreme social anxiety, and now im 22 and the brain fog is no longer just brain fog, its simply how my brain functions. I am completely incapable of effectively recalling any important information, simple math problems, i havent had a daydream since 2016 (used to be one of my biggest coping mechanisms, currently still suicidal over losing this ability after an attempt) i definitely have some amount of brain damage.

I want to learn things, practice guitar and art and all kinds of things again, but I don't even know if i can, or even what that feels like anymore.

If you are currently in school or someone in a position where you have to do mentally strenuous work, can you tell me what its like to "think deeply?" and use your knowledge practically, and how that feels?

 

[timf]

I found that when doing computer programming that you slowly add components to your thinking such that these represent the objective you are trying to accomplish in writing code. If you are interrupted, it is like a Lego structure falls apart. To restart is like having to build the mental structure all over again.

The ability to pursue complexity in thought can come to be limited by stress, distraction, biological and nutritional restriction, or any one of a number of other causes. If life circumstances change so that previous skills do not function the same way,,one can adapt. If things have taken a darker turn, working to bring light to the darkness may be a priority.

It might be advantageous to experiment with artistic attempts such as music. I had some musical friends and commenting on my lack of skill, I said the only roll I can have in music is that of being in the audience. These friends all assured my that that was an important roll.

You might want to go to a music store and see if they have a bulletin board where musicians offer lessons. Someone might be able to see if you could do well with music.

You might want to explore what you can do with what you have got. You might be surprised at the enjoyment you may be able to find.