Venting Punishing Oneself

[ikiruNObungaku]

I recently got a final grade back for a class, and it was bad. Passing, but not good for my standards. I definitely fell off this time. I need more self-discipline. I'm not sure how it got to this point in my life, but as long as I can remember, I always discipline myself if my grades are not perfect. Starving myself for long periods is the easiest punishment, but I recently took to bruising myself. Self-testing and being met with a needle for every wrong answer is another method. I wonder how it got to this point, but I want to be perfect until the moment I decide to die.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

At least you don't go off the deep end unlike with me just lying in in the most stupid ways, (like lying about giving people chemicals to ctb this forum)