itwonttakelong
all things must pass away
- May 3, 2026
- 10
I'm just rambling here, but I feel fantastic and I wanted to tell someone. As I've said in previous posts, I've been having issues for years due to stress from a past hanging attempt that led me to panic whenever I apply pressure to my neck. I started cognitive-behavioural therapy a bit ago, and while it's not exposure therapy, the doctor did give me some excercises to follow and has helped really clear my mind around the whole situation. I've been easing myself into it, and today I was able to practice PSH without panicking.
I don't think I really passed out, in that I remember everything that happened, but I had music on and it slowly faded away along with my vision, it felt like I was underwater, and I felt my body give up and slump forward and got a tired and calm feeling. I also got a prickling sensation all over my face, like I was being lightly poked with small sharp objects. I got up with an involuntary jolt a second later. I went to look at myself in the mirror and my neck was red and my face was, and still is, full of red dots, like freckles all over, so I imagine the prickling sensation was blood vessels bursting. It's so wonderfully satisfying to look at, it's real evidence of something, I feel so relieved that this might still be an option.
Physically, I still feel light headed and my arms feel weak, but emotionally I'm on top of the world. I really can't wait to try again. I just won't have an empty house again until monday.
I don't think I really passed out, in that I remember everything that happened, but I had music on and it slowly faded away along with my vision, it felt like I was underwater, and I felt my body give up and slump forward and got a tired and calm feeling. I also got a prickling sensation all over my face, like I was being lightly poked with small sharp objects. I got up with an involuntary jolt a second later. I went to look at myself in the mirror and my neck was red and my face was, and still is, full of red dots, like freckles all over, so I imagine the prickling sensation was blood vessels bursting. It's so wonderfully satisfying to look at, it's real evidence of something, I feel so relieved that this might still be an option.
Physically, I still feel light headed and my arms feel weak, but emotionally I'm on top of the world. I really can't wait to try again. I just won't have an empty house again until monday.
