Help preventing traumatic flashbacks during ctb??

[true-ending]

its a little bit of a dramatic way to phrase it but i kinda got forced to watch someone attempt suicide n it stresses me out real bad to remember. i still wanna kill myself though, so does anyone have any tips for calming myself down so that i wont have to remember it while i die...? it was an overdose but i dont think other methods make the memories stop. i cajn still kinda get stressed out about it on valium but if anyone has any other recommendations for stuff that'll help id like 2 hear it
sry "forced 2 watch" is kinda a dramatic way to phrase it still i only saw it for like a coupla seconds before i ran off.... the only thing that really gets it out of my head are opioids, can i take those before SN or will it fuck it up??

 

[humantool]

mixing drugs will most likely not end well, stick to a protocol and follow it if you want a better chance of doing it sucessfully

 

[true-ending]

Sorry for the early bump, i just really need help with this ;o_o;