"Belief in the possibility of full relations with women," writes Poznansky, "gave him [Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky] hope for the reassurance of his family and the establishment of universal harmony. He did not suspect then that he belonged by nature to a rare type of homosexual exceptional and that any collision with a woman was impossible for him. Comprehension of this fact came to him during a short marriage with Antonina Milyukova: illusions about women disappeared forever. "
After marriage, he writes to Modest Ilyich: "Moda, how poor you and I are, because we will live our life without experiencing for one second the fullness of happiness and love."