• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
sy46

sy46

why do I wake up every morning?
Nov 13, 2024
14
I really can't take it anymore, every day is worse than the previous one and the story doesn't seem to improve. Not even with psychotropic drugs, lately I increased the dose and they hoped that I would feel at least a little better, but no.. nothing has changed; in fact, I'm getting worse.. I can't even study for exams and this thing is destroying me emotionally. I've wanted to do CTB for years but I'm too cowardly.. however I need, I really need to vent all my pain and frustration in some way, I don't know how; I feel like I'm trapped.. in a tunnel with no way out, only CTB could give me light.. but I lack the courage. I feel so useless and wrong and it makes no sense that I continue to breathe wasting oxygen, there is no point at all in trying to survive in a world like this, I don't have a single reason left to live.
Any advice on what to do when you feel so desperate but still can't do CTB for various reasons? I feel so empty and senseles
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sakura., Praestat_Mori, ElTopo and 1 other person
Lily6759

Lily6759

Suicidal Sadist
Apr 23, 2025
31
I've known a lot of people in a similar position, including myself. I'm not great with advice... but the common theme that seems to help people in similar situations is talking to someone that makes you feel understood. It seems to be the best way to feel a little better when you can't just end things. The only way I've achieved that is through waiting for posts that I relate to on here, or sometimes other websites and trying to talk to those people a bit.
You could also start a thread for venting and see if anyone relates to you, or maybe the make a friend megathread in the offtopic section?
It's hard going through this life alone. And it's hard to find people who understand the pain you may be going through. But it does tend to help, at least a little.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
Upvote 0
ElTopo

ElTopo

Don't listen to me, I am drunk
Mar 30, 2025
258
I really can't take it anymore, every day is worse than the previous one and the story doesn't seem to improve. Not even with psychotropic drugs, lately I increased the dose and they hoped that I would feel at least a little better, but no.. nothing has changed; in fact, I'm getting worse.. I can't even study for exams and this thing is destroying me emotionally. I've wanted to do CTB for years but I'm too cowardly.. however I need, I really need to vent all my pain and frustration in some way, I don't know how; I feel like I'm trapped.. in a tunnel with no way out, only CTB could give me light.. but I lack the courage. I feel so useless and wrong and it makes no sense that I continue to breathe wasting oxygen, there is no point at all in trying to survive in a world like this, I don't have a single reason left to live.
Any advice on what to do when you feel so desperate but still can't do CTB for various reasons? I feel so empty and senseles
Hi, I'm sorry for what you're going through, I'm not sure I can help but I'd really like to hear more about it. What kind of drugs are you on and how much time have you been on them?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
Upvote 0
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
2,164
I really can't take it anymore, every day is worse than the previous one and the story doesn't seem to improve. Not even with psychotropic drugs, lately I increased the dose and they hoped that I would feel at least a little better, but no.. nothing has changed; in fact, I'm getting worse.. I can't even study for exams and this thing is destroying me emotionally. I've wanted to do CTB for years but I'm too cowardly.. however I need, I really need to vent all my pain and frustration in some way, I don't know how; I feel like I'm trapped.. in a tunnel with no way out, only CTB could give me light.. but I lack the courage. I feel so useless and wrong and it makes no sense that I continue to breathe wasting oxygen, there is no point at all in trying to survive in a world like this, I don't have a single reason left to live.
Any advice on what to do when you feel so desperate but still can't do CTB for various reasons? I feel so empty and senseles
This is a long shot, but you could try doing someting for a few days that is completely unrelated to anything you have ever done before. The more different the better. There is just a chance that it might press your "reset" button.
 
Upvote 0

Similar threads

tiokapaws
Replies
8
Views
494
Recovery
tiokapaws
tiokapaws
etherealgoddess
Replies
1
Views
244
Recovery
timf
T