Help please respond, is it valid to get mad over this?

[lovelulu]

All my fp has been doing is playing roblox all day nonstop—and then she has these short dry ass responses. I tell her just text me when shes done playing and she still has a dry response. She tells me to communicate, but once I do suddenly shes just fucking playing all day. She plays roblox more than she talks to me and its getting on my last nerve. Am I just overreacting over this??

 

[thefirstluminary]

It's okay I feel you I hate dry texters and people who ghost so much it's not cool try no to over think it much and just let that person some space I guess and let them reach out to you and be the one to initiate things
I got kinda obsessive about this random person I met online and I kept waiting for his texts for days I was replying to him seconds while he took days it's pretty lame

 

[Aknu132]

Since I also had a fp, it's best to tone it down a bit with her. Even if she doesn't care about you enough as you wish, you might lose her after a while because of your actions. I lost a dear friend because I demanded too much from him. I wish I could go back in time and not have done what I did. Those of us who need a lot of affection should moderate how much we ask for. the chances of finding a people that truly love us and stay all the way it us, is a lot low. you gotta keep what you have.

 

[thefirstluminary]

Even if she doesn't care about you enough as you wish

b-but... what's the point? why do people waste their time talking to someone for them in end not to be interested and let that someone wonder what the heck is going on I'm sure OP is losing his mind right now cause she is not replying I'd lose my shit too if a person I thought I'm vibing with and have interest in just leave me hanging like that it's pretty draining it leaves you confused and on edge all the time assuming the worst

 

[lovelulu]

b-but... what's the point? why do people waste their time talking to someone for them in end not to be interested and let that someone wonder what the heck is going on I'm sure OP is losing his mind right now cause she is not replying I'd lose my shit too if a person I thought I'm vibing with and have interest in just leave me hanging like that it's pretty draining it leaves you confused and on edge all the time assuming the worst
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It is, and plus she claimed i was her fp too. Im sick of her lying straight to my face, saying she loves me. Also, im a girl

 

[Aknu132]

b-but... what's the point? why do people waste their time talking to someone for them in end not to be interested and let that someone wonder what the heck is going on I'm sure OP is losing his mind right now cause she is not replying I'd lose my shit too if a person I thought I'm vibing with and have interest in just leave me hanging like that it's pretty draining it leaves you confused and on edge all the time assuming the worst
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It really depends if you can find another person while keeping this one with you, it's better to be with someone that doens't care for you enough then to be alone, based on my experience of course. Being all alone is hellish for me, I made a mistake by distancing myself more and more from my fp. I miss him so much, even though he didn't care much about me, at least he cared a little.

 

[thefirstluminary]

It is, and plus she claimed i was her fp too. Im sick of her lying straight to my face, saying she loves me. Also, im a girl

I RELATE YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME
he literally told me so many nice stuff I never felt so happy before for him to ghost me like that making me feel special then being all ignorant and whatnot...

It really depends if you can find another person while keeping this one with you, it's better to be with someone that doens't care for you enough then to be alone, based on my experience of course. Being all alone is hellish for me, I made a mistake by distancing myself more and more from my fp. I miss him so much, even though he didn't care much about me, at least he cared a little.

I'm not a lonely person but I don't know I don't feel right being with people I am with right now I have few friends but they're are just lame
I can't be completely open up to them about stuff like me wanting to ctb they are very annoying too none of them cares about what I think or what I feel or what I like you know I prefer loneliness instead with being honestly that's why I deleted and didn't talk to them for a long time it was a very lonely time but it felt nice but I'm back now

 

[battybites]

All my fp has been doing is playing roblox all day nonstop—and then she has these short dry ass responses. I tell her just text me when shes done playing and she still has a dry response. She tells me to communicate, but once I do suddenly shes just fucking playing all day. She plays roblox more than she talks to me and its getting on my last nerve. Am I just overreacting over this??

I've definitely been here and i know in these situations it's so hard to see any perspective but the one you believe is true. there have been many times when my fp has been playing games and not replying to me and sent me into a violent spiral of hating him and myself.

i say this with love and understanding because i know the pain it causes but please try take a step back and think of all the perspectives in this situation. it's possible she just doesn't have the social battery to talk to people right now, maybe she's had a bad day or is tired or just wants to unwind and have time to herself. there could be so many reasons that aren't to do with you.

first try and shock your nervous system into calming down. you can do this by splashing cold water on your face or eating sour candy. then, i would personally go and do an activity of your own so you aren't focusing on what she's doing. draw, write, watch a show or play a game of your own. its so much easier said than done but trying to shift your focus onto something else could be a huge help.

later on, if you still feel the need to, you could bring up how you feel to her and have a discussion when your emotions are more under control. sorry if this message is a bit disjointed but i hope this advice can help ground you even a little bit <3

 

[Aknu132]

I've definitely been here and i know in these situations it's so hard to see any perspective but the one you believe is true. there have been many times when my fp has been playing games and not replying to me and sent me into a violent spiral of hating him and myself.

i say this with love and understanding because i know the pain it causes but please try take a step back and think of all the perspectives in this situation. it's possible she just doesn't have the social battery to talk to people right now, maybe she's had a bad day or is tired or just wants to unwind and have time to herself. there could be so many reasons that aren't to do with you.

first try and shock your nervous system into calming down. you can do this by splashing cold water on your face or eating sour candy. then, i would personally go and do an activity of your own so you aren't focusing on what she's doing. draw, write, watch a show or play a game of your own. its so much easier said than done but trying to shift your focus onto something else could be a huge help.

later on, if you still feel the need to, you could bring up how you feel to her and have a discussion when your emotions are more under control. sorry if this message is a bit disjointed but i hope this advice can help ground you even a little bit <3

You said it all, your message was very good, I agree 100%, if I had followed what you said now, i wouldn't have lost my friend. I think I was a little too emotional at the time, and it wasn't just the other person who was wrong.

 

[VeryLonelyBread]

I think it's valid

 

[battybites]

You said it all, your message was very good, I agree 100%, if I had followed what you said now, i wouldn't have lost my friend. I think I was a little too emotional at the time, and it wasn't just the other person who was wrong.

none of us are perfect and it's especially hard for people with emotional regulation issues to be self aware in moments of high stress, i'm so sorry you lost your friend, i hope the message i sent can be of help in the future !!

 

[thefirstluminary]

You said it all, your message was very good, I agree 100%, if I had followed what you said now, i wouldn't have lost my friend. I think I was a little too emotional at the time, and it wasn't just the other person who was wrong.

It may not work... every time I tried doing that I ended up getting more angry which made stalk that person and see what their are doing and their online times
But yeah it can be an effective solution scary thing is some people may literally not even text back or initiate and just gonna be stuck there which is pretty lame
at least when I get attached to someone and I don't seem much efforts made by them to be with me I end up unfriending them it's best for my sanity that way

 

[battybites]

It may not work... every time I tried doing that I ended up getting more angry which made stalk that person and see what their are doing and their online times
But yeah it can be an effective solution scary thing is some people may literally not even text back or initiate and just gonna be stuck there which is pretty lame
at least when I get attached to someone and I don't seem much efforts made by them to be with me I end up unfriending them it's best for my sanity that way
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it's definitely been ineffective with me too, i find distractions don't always help when im spiralling really badly but it's something you need to consistently do and it'll get easier with time. i do truly understand how hard it is though, im coming out of a recent bpd episode myself and trying to pick up the pieces of it :')

 

[Kokonoe]

Im sick of her lying straight to my face, saying she loves me.

i relate to this so much. sis keeps saying she loves me and that she's always here for me and so on and so forth. but she is *never* there for me when i do actually need it. she is never "here" no matter how much she says it. and no matter how much she tells me she loves me, i am always clearly an after thought. these sorts of people just lie about these things as if their own actions don't give themselves away. i don't get it at all.

 

[thefirstluminary]

im coming out of a recent bpd episode myself and trying to pick up the pieces of it :')

bpd... people with bpd kinda scare me lol I got called bpd demon many times by people online but I'm not

it's definitely been ineffective with me too, i find distractions don't always help when im spiralling really badly but it's something you need to consistently do and it'll get easier with time. i do truly understand how hard it is though, im coming out of a recent bpd episode myself and trying to pick up the pieces of it :')

I'm sorry it's really hard to do shit while most of the time you were dependent on that person and you talk to him for hours that's what I did so him ghosting me is kinda of lame and leave me my day kinda of empty cause I'm chronically online

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

It's really hard to cope with stuff like that.

When you are used to talk with someone a lot and being excited/happy all the time when you interact/talk with them and then they drift away very quickly all of a sudden.

I understand people come and go and relationships starts and end but damn, i can't handle that kind of stuff.

Idk how people do it.

Worst feeling is knowing you've been "replaced"...

 

[battybites]

bpd... people with bpd kinda scare me lol

ppl with bpd aren't scary it's okay there's just an unfair stigma

I'm sorry it's really hard to do shit while most of the time you were dependent on that person and you talk to him for hours

no i get this completely. my entire life revolves around one singular guy who i talk to all day every day. when we go even a few hours without talking it can feel like im being torn into shreds. it really sucks and im so jealous of people who don't live like this

 

[thefirstluminary]

ppl with bpd aren't scary it's okay there's just an unfair stigma

no i get this completely. my entire life revolves around one singular guy who i talk to all day every day. when we go even a few hours without talking it can feel like im being torn into shreds. it really sucks and im so jealous of people who don't live like this

grim I got this online friend of mine who actually sticked around with me but I remember one time we had a fight and he told me that he only comes back and talk to me out of pity due to everyone hating me even my friends and lonely or wtv but I'm clearly not or maybe I am I don't know at this point but that really did hurt me like I'm I really that pathetic... :(

 

[Aknu132]

grim I got this online friend of mine who actually sticked around with me but I remember one time we had a fight and he told me that he only comes back and talk to me out of pity due to everyone hating me even my friends and lonely or wtv but I'm clearly not or maybe I am I don't know at this point but that really did hurt me like I'm I really that pathetic... :(

I'm so sorry your "friend" said that to you. Saying that to someone is so mean. It's like we weren't made for this world, most people seem to lack compassion and empathy. We offer so much love and attention and then these people go and hurt us. I wish so much that we find someone to love and to be loved.

 

[Kokonoe]

ppl with bpd aren't scary it's okay there's just an unfair stigma

as someone with bpd who has also been abused by others with bpd, yeah i think being afraid of people with bpd is completely fair. i think it's only natural to avoid people with bpd. living with it is a nightmare and why would anyone ever willingly decide to put themselves through that abuse unless they actively want to make their own life worse.
if you end up unfortunate enough to be cursed with bpd you are going to be alone forever, and if somehow you're not alone you're just going to hurt everyone around you instead. it's just cruel and unfair.