Venting planning on leaving by the end of the month

[Verwandlung]

from my introduction 5 days ago and today planning on ctb next week seems like a short encounter, but i appreciate all the welcoming from last post ^^

i'm wasted academically and socially, i've alienated myself so much from my peers that i'm getting treated like i was a sped. i have zero motivation to keep moving with my hobbies that it's almost nonexistant. fortunately no one knows that i want to ctb but i want them to know via a note i've written last night. i've prepared at least a copy for my family to read and a few of them on my pc so my peers can read and contemplate what they did to me. might order some sn today so i can have everything ready without any delay. i fucking hate this country and i detest this social ring of immature, selfish and egocentric folk, it's not welcoming.

 

[Kanashii]

I agree with you in the last part especially. The social ring is disgusting. There's so many people who don't give a damn anymore and people only ever care about the rich, selfish and immature people as they're the only ones that matter as they look out for eachother. People backstab others these days too at the blink of an eye even when they say they're relatively close to said person.

Everything about this world and the cruel way of life makes me want to cease to exist the more I think about it. How people can still enjoy the things they do and sometimes how even I can enjoy some things, yet there's so much suffering in the world. No thought goes to those who truly need the support. There's not enough care for those with mental health issues and illnesses.

This place truly is horrid and I wish I didn't have to exist in it. Anywhere else where there's actually decent people would've been much better. Even if I was born as an animal, it would make life simpler. You get fed and you sleep. Simple life with nothing to worry about.

Us as humans have too much knowledge and not long after we're born we know we're going to die, so what even is the point of life? It's so meaningless and stupid as there's nothing to live for. The end result is we die and we don't know when that time will come.

If there was a peaceful enough method and I knew I had just one person around me that day who understands why I'm doing it, I would've done it. This world is just making things harder for those who do want to get out of this endless loop of suffering.

Most importantly, I hope you find peace in whatever your next step is, we're all here if you change your mind too. <3

 

[kitia973]

I can completely relate with your experiences. My life is consumed by nihilism, and there is just no reason for me to keep going anymore. I hope you find your peace.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

This world is definitely in deep need of an erase and a cleanse. It's a disaster to true humans everywhere than the monsters who serve to live and destroy actual people and are flighty airheads to keep it from since all they care about is using you and destroying you for their selfish gain and making you confuse about your character and what you endured… Yet simultaneously contribute to it because they know deep down it exists TwT do nothing about it and tell you to avoid it in very specific ways that often makes you wonder what you believed…. Scary

 

[Verwandlung]

it surprises me that people in the social ring say that they want to kill themselves but don't afterwards. the world could actually be better if these "pests" of people actually do it.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

it surprises me that people in the social ring say that they want to kill themselves but don't afterwards. the world could actually be better if these "pests" of people actually do it.

Terrifying goblins should not be worshipped or worse adorned by the public eye and given careers while true talented worship work their backs 2x as hard for what these demons get easily because of circumstances, corruption, failed system, and privilege…

 

[Verwandlung]

I agree with you in the last part especially. The social ring is disgusting. There's so many people who don't give a damn anymore and people only ever care about the rich, selfish and immature people as they're the only ones that matter as they look out for eachother. People backstab others these days too at the blink of an eye even when they say they're relatively close to said person.

Everything about this world and the cruel way of life makes me want to cease to exist the more I think about it. How people can still enjoy the things they do and sometimes how even I can enjoy some things, yet there's so much suffering in the world. No thought goes to those who truly need the support. There's not enough care for those with mental health issues and illnesses.

This place truly is horrid and I wish I didn't have to exist in it. Anywhere else where there's actually decent people would've been much better. Even if I was born as an animal, it would make life simpler. You get fed and you sleep. Simple life with nothing to worry about.

Us as humans have too much knowledge and not long after we're born we know we're going to die, so what even is the point of life? It's so meaningless and stupid as there's nothing to live for. The end result is we die and we don't know when that time will come.

If there was a peaceful enough method and I knew I had just one person around me that day who understands why I'm doing it, I would've done it. This world is just making things harder for those who do want to get out of this endless loop of suffering.

Most importantly, I hope you find peace in whatever your next step is, we're all here if you change your mind too. <3

personally if i wasn't cornered by people that know i'm at my lowest i would rather run away and be one with nature. if i wasn't so pressed i'd do that right now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find the freedom you search for, I wish you the best.