Today I was organising for a trip I want to make with my friends on May... but I also don't want to live till May. I'd like to ctb in April if things go to plan. I had to make an excuse for someone else to make the booking and pay early in case I'm not there to see it through, I was even thinking about repeat trips next year... but hopefully I won't be alive. Idk sometimes it feels so weird planning for a future you may not be part of but I also don't want to sabotage my life more if I end up still being here. I wish I could guarantee my death and just spend my last few months doing exactly what I want to do but I have to keep up appearances!
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WhiteRabbit
I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
- Feb 12, 2019
- 1,799
I was was just thinking this when I made my retirement contribution this year. I know i'm not going to make it to 65.
Yep, same boat here. I don't even know why I plan for old age.i've been feeling similar lately and it's definitely an odd feeling talking about/planning things for a future i know i very likely won't be here for.
i found it somewhat difficult when i was speaking with my friends recently and we got talking about some things we would do together in the more immediate future, but also in the years to come. and i don't know it hurt. i had a bit of a breakdown in a bathroom, although there was alcohol involved so i don't know.
i'm also still doing things like trying to get some stuff sorted out with my education and it feels pretty pointless to be honest.
Kristicide
I am a prisoner locked up behind xanax bars
- Dec 16, 2021
- 330
I do this in a self soothing way by browsing my favorite fashion app everyday and "window shopping". Basically putting a bunch of things on a wishlist or in my cart (I have no intention of buying them). But I like to think of all the cute outfits I'd wear.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 48,622
Your feelings are understandable. Of course it makes sense to make plans as we cannot be certain we will be dead by that point. Personally, I do not want to make any plans, apart from plans to ctb, there is nothing I want from this life and living hurts me. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
Crazy4u
Enlightened
- Sep 29, 2021
- 1,318
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