Planning CTB?

[Fadeawaaaay]

Who is seriously planning CTB versus ruminating?

 

[Belljar]

Me. I probably am a week away from either bridge or hanging.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course I am serious about ctb, and no matter what I will find a way to end all the suffering and be free from this horrible life. However it will likely not be for a while. It is very difficult to ctb as we are programmed to survive, and there is the fear of failure. There is a lot of planning needed for the method to succeed. If it was easier to exit, I would already be gone.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Me. I probably am a week away from either bridge or hanging.

Bridge - that takes guts - I'm afraid of heights - seems awfully scary

Of course I am serious about ctb, and no matter what I will find a way to end all the suffering and be free from this horrible life. However it will likely not be for a while. It is very difficult to ctb as we are programmed to survive, and there is the fear of failure. There is a lot of planning needed for the method to succeed. If it was easier to exit, I would already be gone.

I know what you mean. I didn't realize how challenging all of this was… Both in terms of executing anyone of these methods and SI.

 

[Belljar]

I'm terrified of heights too but I have little money or energy for other methods. Maybe hanging in the forest.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm terrified of heights too but I have little money or energy for other methods. Maybe hanging in the forest.

Seems like SN is pretty cheap no?

 

[Gloom]

I tried a couple of plans (SN and hanging) but I ratted myself out both times because I was so terrified. I'm currently planning on hanging in this really beautiful park, I have my slip knot tied and I'm ready but it seems so scary. I'd like to get over this random fear soon because there's literally nothing stopping me from ctb.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Been seriously planning for a couple months now. Living for others at the moment… until I can't do it anymore

 

[wanttodie]

Of course I am serious about ctb

 

[Vex]

I have no plans to catch the bus right now. I have attempted to do so in the past and I may do so in the future while in a manic state, but I completely believe in a person's right to die and if they do choose to do so it comforts me to know that they can speak with empathetic people to help ease them in their final moments.

 

[yive]

im going to ctb 100% no matter what. death is the only option for me, so of course im serious

 

[lonerclown666]

me i want to die for real but i need a gun first

 

[Ch92921]

I can forget jumping. I get instantly very weak legs and dizzy when I stand high above.

 

[Lost Magic]

Well it took me a while to get all the pills and Sodium Nitrite this year. Next Jan I am going to get a will in order, do a few final things and try to be gone before the summer. I have fully come to the realisation that things are not going to improve. I have lost a great deal and the pain of just existing isn't worth it anymore. I'm so tired.

 

[noname223]

Currently tbh more ruminating. I hang in on a recovery attempt that failed after 1 week and my therapists all urge me to go on with it. It is absolutely hopeless, but we play this game as if I could win.
That is absolutely utopian. However the alternatives were even worse. Like the current state is pretty fucked up like severe sleeping disorder for 4 months. It is just insane.
I know I have no future. I try to live with an illusion because that can be comforting for a while. I rather trick myself for a while instead of living without any hope at all. The time will come when I am not able anymore to escape. But I try to postpone it.

 

[Pluto]

I've treated it as a long-term project, because that also negates any possibility of acting rashly. By now, the N is good to go. Legal will is next on the list. Source some AE. Then I am free to go at any time I feel like it. I'm also supposed to be attempting a recovery but it sure as heck feels soothing to know that I am not stuck on a decades-long treadmill of misery.

 

[coal-light]

I'm probably the closest I've ever been. I'm just trying to cross the Ts and dot the Is before I decide "it's done."

I also have a fear of being nauseous so the poison methods are a no-go and anything else has my SI kick in right off the bat. Hopefully I get hit by a bus at some point. Hoping something happens because I struggle to carry on.

 

[D&D]

I know it might sound strange, but I have never thought of myself as 'suicidal or 'having suicidal ideation' or in similar terms ... some time ago I have decided to obtain all required to leave my human life quietly and peacefully.

Not because I cannot bear the pain, the isolation, the loneliness, the guilt, the regrets, the remorse ... I can. I have carried them all for years. Alone.

It is because I have nothing left to give and no one to give to ... in my view it is a matter of personal dignity to leave while one is still able to. Indeed, I think of it as a privilege. Before to become an inmate in a facility for old and destitute.

 

[piger]

I've decided that my death is inevitable. I have lost all purpose and I am not fit to live in this world. I've been planning a big stunt for well over a year. It'll hopefully confuse the shit out of everyone combined with a greatly exaggerated manifesto i have in order along with personal letters. When it comes time i'll be at the golden gate bridge and hang myself off the suicide nets.

 

[SanguineHare]

I am serious about it. I plan on it a few months from now.

 

[Illcryaboutitlater]

Im trying for the next few weeks, i have not much else to live for. I want to get this done too so my puppy i thought would help can find a good forever home while shes little.

 

[myopybyproxy]

i go back and forth as to when. i need to fucking commit but i have irrational fears. bloody survival instinct.

i already failed once. they asked me when i woke up if i had any regrets. yeah, i regret not doing it right the first time. i need to be sure i will succeed.

i know i will be dead before i reach 25. i just cannot envision myself being older. my expiry date is when i graduate uni in may 2023. but im not against the idea of dying earlier. i wanted to be dead by this december but obviously that didnt happen. took too long to gather the supplies. now ive got a few weeks before the new semester. if i dont do it in january - probably the case - then i will have to wait til may 2022. it doesnt make sense - no need for uni studies when youre dead - but it gives a sense of structure. a deadline. pun intended i suppose.

 

[Death is beautiful]

Well, my SN arrived today and I had money for a hotel, but I can't do it yet, it takes time

 

[Adamsnolife]

I am