Story Planned to ctb, now there is this girl

[spectraltease]

Something strange happened, I plan my suicide but there is this girl.
We both know that we like us.
I always dreamed of having a girlfriend. I know that a gf could give me strength, but could only slow down my suicide.
I know that im not strong enough to get over a breakup, so I will kill myself anyway because nothing holds forever.
Ofc I don't kill myself in a relationship so I have to decide.
I know I overthink and at the end, it isnt a relationship anyways but I don't have anything left to loose.
I don't know why I post this here, just some thoughts in my head and they won't leave.

 

[Hollowillow]

Indeed everything turns to shit. Tell her you plan to die but would love to be lovers? If she agrees enjoy it while you still can. If she runs away screaming calling you a monster, she was heartless.

 

[Capsaicin78]

Indeed everything turns to shit. Tell her you plan to die but would love to be lovers? If she agrees enjoy it while you still can. If she runs away screaming calling you a monster, she was heartless.

Wtf. Who starts a relationship with "hey im suicidal". Kinda unrealistic tbh.

Also OP. Just try it out. Who knows, you might fall in love. Things might change. Even your whole perspective in life. I do believe in pro-choice but it if you are unsure of ctb, then pls give life at least one more chance. I mean u can still ctb afterwards. ( And yes, please tell her about your plans as soon as you know you can trust her with your feelings. It will deepen your relationship and love

 

[spectraltease]

Wtf. Who starts a relationship with "hey im suicidal". Kinda unrealistic tbh.

Also OP. Just try it out. Who knows, you might fall in love. Things might change. Even your whole perspective in life. I do believe in pro-choice but it if you are unsure of ctb, then pls give life at least one more chance. I mean u can still ctb afterwards. ( And yes, please tell her about your plans as soon as you know you can trust her with your feelings. It will deepen your relationship and love

Yeah, you right. I wanna try it, I don't have something left to loose ig. I don't know if I would tell her about my suicidal thoughts because I don't wanna loose her yk.
I don't talk about my feeling becaude people don't care anyways or think Im joking.
Its weird for a normal person to hear that you are suicidal too.
I dont even think it has something to do with her, if its over I just kill myself anyway.

 

[makethepainstop]

Ah, love will mess up even the most carefully laid plans! You could see how the relationship progresses...then if it is really love, you might decide to share with her. If not she was a break from your ctb planning. So what would the harm be in waiting a little bit longer to ctb?