Venting Pitiful emptiness

[Manicpixiedreamlast]

Ever since the 14 of January this year this bottomless emptiness returned with a vengeance. I feel so empty but restless.

I've purchased SN but it won't be here for another week at least. Every week since my decision to finally end it I've been travelling and it's yet to offer me some wonderful revelation that life is worth living. How dare psychologist and therapist tell you just need to hold out for a bit longer you'll feel better you'll be better but not offering any actual practical advice. How dare psychologists nurses sit there smugly saying "well, things are getting better for you, hasn't it" but then in the next breath telling me to go home and have a bath. Last thing in the world I need is a bath.

What's even the point of therapy? It make up feel better, or to make you better at hiding you feeling?
I hate having all talk about suicide being cut off I'm being given the number for suicide helpline. Being told by police on a section that they will help you they will make sure you get help, then nurses saying to them with a giggle she's lying she doesn't want to die.

I don't think I can hold out, there's over whelming restlessness my body feels, like my body is telling me to die. Last week I sat near a river, and planned to jump in but there alway someone watching me. I need to die before my mind is no longer able to do so.

Please give me some options, I am planning on the antifreeze method.

 

[oneanonymous]

I'm so sorry you're hurting. If I had the strength, maybe I could say something to give you a little bit of hope, but I can't find it. Just know you aren't really alone. All of us here are with you and we care and we want the best for you. I hope things turn around for you. At the very least, I hope you find peace, in whatever form that comes in. Much love, friend.

 

[Nottoohotlatte]

Revelations tend to rear their heads when you least expect them (I know I am waiting for one as well) But regardless of its arrival, I hope you find peace in whatever choice you make. I support any of your decision and am sending love your way!
Until next time,
Take care

 

[randomz]

Ever since the 14 of January this year this bottomless emptiness returned with a vengeance. I feel so empty but restless.

I've purchased SN but it won't be here for another week at least. Every week since my decision to finally end it I've been travelling and it's yet to offer me some wonderful revelation that life is worth living. How dare psychologist and therapist tell you just need to hold out for a bit longer you'll feel better you'll be better but not offering any actual practical advice. How dare psychologists nurses sit there smugly saying "well, things are getting better for you, hasn't it" but then in the next breath telling me to go home and have a bath. Last thing in the world I need is a bath.

What's even the point of therapy? It make up feel better, or to make you better at hiding you feeling?
I hate having all talk about suicide being cut off I'm being given the number for suicide helpline. Being told by police on a section that they will help you they will make sure you get help, then nurses saying to them with a giggle she's lying she doesn't want to die.

I don't think I can hold out, there's over whelming restlessness my body feels, like my body is telling me to die. Last week I sat near a river, and planned to jump in but there alway someone watching me. I need to die before my mind is no longer able to do so.

Please give me some options, I am planning on the antifreeze method.

I am sorry you are going through with this, I know how it feels. I think you should give yourself more time to get better. Have you tried treating your problems with meds? Maybe there is a right one for you that will make you enjoy life. If you need anything we are always here for you :)