Perseverence

[Callie Arcale]

Perseverence. I just realized that if I keep trying, I will succeed to ctb at some point.

Up until now I've been too terrified to plan a new attempt, because my first one left me devastated. What I felt then, no words can describe: the horror, the fear, the utter despair and anger…

But now I'm starting to think: So what if I failed? So what if it devastated me, and pushed me to the edge of sanity? Living is no longer an option. I'd rather face that ugly monster SI every day, than continue to die a thousand deaths and do nothing to end this suffering.

I'll try again and again. However long it takes… In the end, I will go into the night.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living really can be painful, I'm sorry to hear you are suffering.The thought of failing an attempt and the survival instinct holds me back, but one day I will probably get desperate and overcome it. I would love to just fall into an eternal sleep and be free from this world. I wish you well.

 

[Callie Arcale]

Every time I close my eyes to sleep, I say this prayer: I hope I never wake up again.