etherealgoddess
perseverance is inevitable success
- Dec 8, 2022
- 194
Let's start with the basics that will be the foundation of what I say next. Your ego wants the easiest way to feel comfortable. If you haven't ever done shadow work (if you haven't intently done it, you probably haven't), you won't know but the ego is EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT. It's like an extremely good lawyer who knows how to make an entire believable narrative and sell it to you. And it's entirely motivated with the intent of wanting you to feel comfortable and good about yourself as fast as possible. And any pattern it finds that gets what it wants will keep repeating. And it's a LOT smarter than you think. It knows how to outsmart you until you finally outsmart it.
I noticed how this connects to perfectionism. Every time I felt bad about things not working out perfectly that day, I'd give up and end up playing video games and YouTube and etc. It was always this kind of cycle. I always thought it was something wrong with my self-esteem and thought patterns, and I always wanted to figure out why I had this habit. But I am realizing now it was actually because my body knew that it wanted to be lazy and relax and knew the perfect way to get what it wanted: guilt the hell out of me until I freaked out and had to dissociate and use mind numbing things with any sort of entertainment. It's a habit that's also been in me for a very long time, so it was harder to figure out how it turned into this mess. Anyway, realizing it's just my ego makes me realize how it's all just an illusion. Perfection is literally my body's way of wanting to be lazy, which is so funny and ironic. It makes me wanna fight that part of myself now. I feel like I've awakened out of my ego's matrix.
This might click for some people. Hope it helps.
I noticed how this connects to perfectionism. Every time I felt bad about things not working out perfectly that day, I'd give up and end up playing video games and YouTube and etc. It was always this kind of cycle. I always thought it was something wrong with my self-esteem and thought patterns, and I always wanted to figure out why I had this habit. But I am realizing now it was actually because my body knew that it wanted to be lazy and relax and knew the perfect way to get what it wanted: guilt the hell out of me until I freaked out and had to dissociate and use mind numbing things with any sort of entertainment. It's a habit that's also been in me for a very long time, so it was harder to figure out how it turned into this mess. Anyway, realizing it's just my ego makes me realize how it's all just an illusion. Perfection is literally my body's way of wanting to be lazy, which is so funny and ironic. It makes me wanna fight that part of myself now. I feel like I've awakened out of my ego's matrix.
This might click for some people. Hope it helps.
