Venting People who don't want to live but don't want to die either

[Darkover]

Some people don't want to live, but they don't want to die either. They exist in a quiet space between the two—too exhausted to keep going, but also too uncertain or afraid to let go. For them, sleep becomes a refuge. It's not about laziness or giving up; it's the only time when the weight they carry eases, when the pain softens, and the endless questions stop pressing in. Sleep offers silence, not healing, and a pause, not hope. It's a temporary escape where they can disappear without truly disappearing, a fragile peace in an otherwise restless existence.

 

[knickknack81]

100 percent agree with this. Having thoughts of CTB is damn draining. I look forward to the moments of sleep I get just to turn my brain off for a few hours and not think about that or anything else. Hell, there are times when I say before I got to bed, "just let me die in my sleep". Common feeling im sure among many who just want to go out peacefully.

 

[wham311]

Some people don't want to live, but they don't want to die either. They exist in a quiet space between the two—too exhausted to keep going, but also too uncertain or afraid to let go. For them, sleep becomes a refuge. It's not about laziness or giving up; it's the only time when the weight they carry eases, when the pain softens, and the endless questions stop pressing in. Sleep offers silence, not healing, and a pause, not hope. It's a temporary escape where they can disappear without truly disappearing, a fragile peace in an otherwise restless existence.

And then you're up the next day unable to escape all over again.

Hell on earth.

There's a black mirror episode of a woman being chased and going through hell and drugged at night only to be woken up the next day to go through it all over again in front of an audience every day of her life. Feels like that.

 

[Hollowman]

Limbo sucks!

 

[limpimitation]

Some people don't want to live, but they don't want to die either. They exist in a quiet space between the two—too exhausted to keep going, but also too uncertain or afraid to let go. For them, sleep becomes a refuge. It's not about laziness or giving up; it's the only time when the weight they carry eases, when the pain softens, and the endless questions stop pressing in. Sleep offers silence, not healing, and a pause, not hope. It's a temporary escape where they can disappear without truly disappearing, a fragile peace in an otherwise restless existence.

I feel this so deeply. I often feel stuck with decision paralysis and uncertainty. It's completely fucking miserable.

 

[nyctophilia]

Yeah I feel this. I just want to sleep all day so I don't have to think, but then I wake up and just exist until I can sleep again.

 

[Griever]

Continuing to live feels wrong and dying feels wrong

 

[tercermundista]

I sleep all day so I don't have to think and live the shitty life I'm stuck with. I want to live, but I don't want to live this life, and I don't see any way out of my problems... the only thing I can do is kill myself, but I'm a coward.

 

[nobody_oac]

It really is the only peace you get. I sleep, at minimum, twelve hours most nights when I can get to sleep. No thinking, just watching what my brain decides to show me. I'll take passively watching nightmares over being awake...

 

[limpimitation]

It really is the only peace you get. I sleep, at minimum, twelve hours most nights when I can get to sleep. No thinking, just watching what my brain decides to show me. I'll take passively watching nightmares over being awake...

Guess I'm lucky, I don't usually remember my dreams

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I agree. Sleep is all I look forward to, hoping I die in the process since I'm to chicken to do it myself.

 

[RadiantNumber]

I don't want to live but I am too afraid of death, dying and everything after