Venting People that have CTB are courageous

[dyingalone123]

I never believed in CTB before I became ill and I'm glad there are resources out there. I just have to give it to people that have CTB.

I find it so hard to overcome my SI yet existing is so painful. I wish I can end it all. As selfish it may be to my parents, I don't want to live anymore. I wish I can go into a tent with others and fall asleep permanently.

 

[strand]

I feel the same. I want to go through with it but I can't bring myself to do it. It's like I'm...on hold.

 

[dyingalone123]

One day I hope I have the courage to end it all

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide is not selfish, as we never asked to exist, so isn't like we have any obligations to stay alive. We have the right to exit this world at a time of our choosing. Yes, it does require courage. If it was easier I would be already gone. We are programmed to survive after all. The thing I want is to fall asleep and never wake again.

 

[dyingalone123]

I want to jump like Madison H did. She had a lot more to live than I do and yet I lack her courage
SS ironically had prolonged my life. Every method I've looked up seemed painful.

 

[woundedwarrier]

I want to jump like Madison H did. She had a lot more to live than I do and yet I lack her courage
SS ironically had prolonged my life. Every method I've looked up seemed painful.

Are you talking about Maddy Holleran??

 

[orangepotato]

I've felt this way for the past 15 years. Ugh. I just wish I'd stop procrastinating and do it already.

 

[dyingalone123]

I wish I had found a building two weeks ago, I was so ready. My thoughts were there, I just couldn't find one and now my SI are strong.
I'm sorry you guys have to hear me rant,
no one else understands
Everyone thinks I'm crazy for being suicidal
w

I've felt this way for the past 15 years. Ugh. I just wish I'd stop procrastinating and do it already.

I don't know how you do it. Moving through life existing, that takes a lot of courage too.

 

[orangepotato]

I wish I had found a building two weeks ago, I was so ready. My thoughts were there, I just couldn't find one and now my SI are strong.
I'm sorry you guys have to hear me rant,
no one else understands
Everyone thinks I'm crazy for being suicidal
w

I don't know how you do it. Moving through life existing, that takes a lot of courage too.

I have no idea how the fuck I'm still alive. I'm a zombie. My spirit died decades ago.

 

[dyingalone123]

I hope a new strain of covid kills me. I got the vaccine before I became ill. I'm just hoping a new breakthrough strain kills me even if it's painful.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I feel the same. I want to go through with it but I can't bring myself to do it. It's like I'm...on hold.

Me too! I know my problem I'm so anxious I'm concerned over what society will think and how others will feel afterwards

 

[clown_17]

I want to jump like Madison H did. She had a lot more to live than I do and yet I lack her courage
SS ironically had prolonged my life. Every method I've looked up seemed painful.

This is so true. I never had any hesitations about cutting ctb, drinking bleach or any other cleaner, or jumping until I went on this site.

 

[motel rooms]

This is so true. I never had any hesitations about cutting ctb, drinking bleach or any other cleaner, or jumping until I went on this site.

Jumping isn't painful if done from a sufficient height