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schwarzit

schwarzit

New Member
Mar 27, 2023
2
I know I have been so unsociable throughout my whole life, upbringing was a pile of shit. But right now, I've found it more exhausting. It's way harder for me to deal with people now since for me they've been "losing color".

Like think of it this way. Do you guys like listening to the same music you like repeatedly or eating the same favorite food almost every week? Have you ever thought that music you have been listening is much more excruciating to listen to or that food has become slightly bland?

That is what I feel towards people I know recently. I don't really know if that's me being depressed or sm other mental rut but I really want to talk to someone that I value a lot and this really bothers me.

How have you guys dealt with this?
Thanks a lot.
 
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orca87

Mage
Mar 22, 2023
529
Yes! Like everything else in life becomes gray and pointless if you've lost all hope.

There are exceptions, however… i can find some relief and even joy in conversations i can deeply relate to. Its just the only thing I can relate to is that feeling of hopelessness.
 
schwarzit

schwarzit

New Member
Mar 27, 2023
2
We have so much in common! I guess we both know how the world sucks fruity ass.
 
Paradise

Paradise

Drown me in the sea
Apr 2, 2023
26
When you're familliar with something it tends to seem more tedious and looses all the novelty. Maybe try to find color in some new people? Or maybe look at those people in a new light to see their new shade?
 
Ultracheese

Ultracheese

Arcanist
Dec 1, 2022
489
I've experienced this before. It was so bad at some points I thought the world was literally losing color and faces looked the same to me. It was an awful experience and I'm sorry you're dealing with this feeling too.
 
Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,328
Yes absolutely!! (This got way longer that I wanted it to be so I apologize in advance)

I don't think this is necessarily weird to 'suddenly' happen. You grow up and especially in your teen years you think you need that validation from others which you achieve through having lots of friends. Being a teenager means that you want to have as many friends as possible because no friends = loser is just such a stigmatisation in school. But growing up you realize that you really don't need that validation to be self confident and successful. Even realizing that actually having many or even just a few friends is often just a hassle and not worth it, considering how you need to maintain a steady relationship with most of them.

Honestly, it is hard and unfair having to befriend people in a certain circle. Like in class for example: There are quite a few people but who says that I match with them perfectly? Just because we share the same classes and interests doesn't mean that I want to spend time with them 24/7. And how do you befriend people outside of your own classroom? Exactly, you don't.

So really, maybe it is not the 'norm' in a lot of people's eyes to see so many others colourless but fuck the norm :)

My own experience:
I am not necessarily an introvert but I prefer being on my own, especially in school for example.

I do have friends and I appreciate them and like talking to them but I also need my own space so I prefer sitting alone for example. It's not that I don't like people but often times alone their presence annoys me.

The best option for me really was when I started playing video games.
I met so many different people and found those that are colorful in my eyes. One of my best friend lives at the other end of the country but we are like soulmates. We met up already twice for several weeks and it was beautiful. The people in my class just can't compare.
Of course, she is not the only friend I met that is so vibrant in my life that I want to be with her 24/7, there are so many more!!
 

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