Venting People are so disappointing

[sanctionedusage]

tw- SA

Childhood friend I haven't spoken to in a long time confided in me last night that his girlfriend had been SA'd by her trusted friend. The rant that followed was basically all about the nerve of that guy to touch a girl that has a boyfriend, rather than the nerve to sexually assault an innocent person at all. It was the most selfish thing I'd ever read. Not one piece of concern of how she must be feeling or what it must be like for her to be betrayed by a friend. It was all 'mine mine mine, other man touch!'

"I hate the fact he did such a thing knowing she's dating me."
what the fuck? how could that even cross your mind right now? how is it at all important that the girl that got sexually assaulted is taken or not? holy fuck

it feels pointless trying to be friends with people. they don't even comprehend what i'm saying 90% of the time. i knew he wasn't understanding what i was explaining to him because he wasn't in the least bit offended at being told his aggression wasn't rooted in protectiveness or concern but purely machismo. i hate that i have never had trouble understanding anyone.

it's really messing me up since this is someone i've known my entire life. then again, ive always intentionally steered conversations away from subjects i'm afraid to find out people's positions on. id rather just remain unaware of their flaws rather than know them and be considered complacent. waa waa no one's as moral as i am. idk, am i really any better

 

[PanaxMan]

Childhood friend I haven't spoken to in a long time confided in me last night that his girlfriend had been SA'd by her trusted friend. The rant that followed basically all about the nerve of that guy to touch a girl that has a boyfriend, rather than the nerve to sexually assault an innocent person at all. It was the most selfish thing I'd ever read. Not one piece of concern of how she must be feeling or what it must be like for her to be betrayed by a friend. It was all 'mine mine mine, other man touch!'

"I hate the fact he did such a thing knowing she's dating me."
what the fuck? how could that even cross your mind right now? how is it at all important that the girl that got sexually assaulted is taken or not? holy fuck

it feels pointless trying to be friends with people. they don't even comprehend what i'm saying 90% of the time. i knew he wasn't understanding what i was explaining to him because he wasn't in the least bit offended at being told his aggression wasn't rooted in protectiveness or concern but purely machismo. i hate that i have never had trouble understanding anyone.

it's really messing me up since this is someone i've known my entire life. then again, ive always intentionally steered conversations away from subjects i'm afraid to find out people's positions on. id rather just remain unaware of their flaws rather than know them and be considered complacent. waa waa no one's as moral as i am. idk, am i really any better

Well depends on context. Did that friend want that sex or not? She had a boyfriend so she would've wanted something

 

[PanaxMan]

View attachment 201359

retard

From her perspective fyi. A third person perspective is irrelevant unless it comes from multiple people and the events all line up

 

[sanctionedusage]

From her perspective fyi. A third person perspective is irrelevant unless it comes from multiple people and the events all line up

typically when someone claims they were sexually assaulted, it's because they were assaulted, sexually, meaning without consent. meaning she didn't want it. meaning it's sexual assault.

 

[sanctionedusage]

Not the friends perspective her perspective. If this was in court (which it can be) then all of the witness statements should line up with evidence (such as video)

Then why would she hang out with another man? She did have a boyfriend
If it was for money or power ok but that does seem rare within a third person perspective

if you think men can't be friends with women without wanting to or successfully raping and sexually assaulting them, that says more about your view of men than it does about any girl's' choice in friends. thanks for sharing how much you hate men. i personally don't agree, but i understand you may have had some bad experiences in shared locker rooms and such. wishing you all the mental healthcare possible in your situation.

 

[PanaxMan]

if you think men can't be friends with women without wanting to or successfully raping and sexually assaulting them, that says more about your view of men than it does about any girl's' choice in friends. thanks for sharing how much you hate men. i personally don't agree, but i understand you may have had some bad experiences in shared locker rooms and such. wishing you all the mental healthcare possible in your situation.

I don't hate men myself (I'm obviously a guy). But my question is how the fuck did it escalate towards sex? That's my question
Unless he's a sexpest (which I wouldn't understand why she would be friends with one) then this situation needs a lot more context within the situation itself

 

[Dot]

Then why would she hang out with another man? She did have a boyfriend

Sh/ = allowd hr own platonc frnds bth mn & womn

& = snds as tho hr trustd platonc mle frnd tk advantge of hr

= importnt t/ remmbr tht majrty of sexul asslts r perpetr8td b/ ppl knwn t/ th/ victm bcse thr trst pts thm in situatns tht thy wld nt pt thmslves in wth strangrs

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

View attachment 201359

retard

You know what? This time I'll allow that word, yes. he is one BY CHOICE. he should get banned

 

[Dot]

Unless he's a sexpest (which I wouldn't understand why she would be friends with one) then this situation needs a lot more context within the situation itself

Slf ws assaultd b/ a 'frnd' & slf dd nt belive thm 2 b a sx-pst whch = Y slf ws frnds wth thm in th/ 1st plce

Slf wll add tht ws 8 yrs old & tht frnd ws 10-11 whn = happnd - u nevr knw whn sme1 = goin2 b-tray u lke tht

 

[PanaxMan]

Sh/ = allowd hr own platonc frnds bth mn & womn

& = snds as tho hr trustd platonc mle frnd tk advantge of hr

= importnt t/ remmbr tht majrty of sexul asslts r perpetr8td b/ ppl knwn t/ th/ victm bcse thr trst pts thm in situatns tht thy wld nt pt thmslves in wth strangrs

Facts and true possibly meaning he was a sexpest and a big ol red flag

But I'm not getting the context of sh within this convo

You know what? This time I'll allow that word, yes. he is one BY CHOICE. he should get banned

Then what about within a court of law. One person testimony doesn't mean much without evidence and clearly this is a serious case enough to be brought to court.
Hmm valid points. Once again context is needed. I would rather hope it was over the age of consent but once again this bring up multiple questions? Why did she tell his friend about it? Is it over? Was the resolved with a court of law with jail time or restitution? Did he get permission to even tell OP about the story etc

Currently blocked from replying on here with the OP bias on his friend.

 

[sanctionedusage]

Slf ws assaultd b/ a 'frnd' & slf dd nt belive thm 2 b a sx-pst whch = Y slf ws frnds wth thm in th/ 1st plce

Slf wll add tht ws 8 yrs old & tht frnd ws 10-11 whn = happnd - u nevr knw whn sme1 = goin2 b-tray u lke tht

im so sorry dot. hopefully this thread wasn't too insensitive/upsetting.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

hope we can get back on topic, any victim blaming and justification for SA will be taken action against.

 

[Dot]

im so sorry dot. hopefully this thread wasn't too insensitive/upsetting.

= ok

Ws tryn2 mke a pnt tht thre r nt alwys rd flgs or hw easly tht cn happn t/ sme1

Am srry tht ur frnd grlfrnd wnt thru tht & also tht ur frnd ws mre cncernd abt sme1 infringng on hs terrtry thn h/ ws abt hr wll-bein

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

You're right, people are so fucking disappointing. Literally every thread I've read so far this evening has a *certain* ignorant ass user being incredibly unkind to say the least.. Like I get everyone's here because they're having a hard time, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be awful to others, or remain ignorant in a manner that negatively impacts other users.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with your childhood friend showing their true colors, and I'm also sorry this thread wasn't a safe place for you to share your experience without dealing with the same type of bs.

 

[eladeselasol99]

Well depends on context. Did that friend want that sex or not? She had a boyfriend so she would've wanted something

bro wtf go apologize and change your way to perceive something, noone deserved to be SA'ed

for OP,
your friend's girlfriend must be traumatized, should tell him to accompany her to police to report
also i believe human majority are kind enough but some are assholes like those who did the SA

 

[Defenestration]

Sartre: "Hell is other people"

 

[sanctionedusage]

You're right, people are so fucking disappointing. Literally every thread I've read so far this evening has a *certain* ignorant ass user being incredibly unkind to say the least.. Like I get everyone's here because they're having a hard time, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be awful to others, or remain ignorant in a manner that negatively impacts others.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with your childhood friend showing their true colors, and I'm also sorry this thread wasn't a safe place for you to share your experience without dealing with the same type of bs.

i didnt realize it was a serial thing today. sorry that brought you down :/ i personally wasn't expecting anything very different from sasu.. but it was really, really nice of everyone else to share their thoughts and condolences as well. thanks enchanted

 

[Dejected 55]

I feel like a lot of people don't understand that most of the sexual assaults come from someone you know. I think a lot of people believe rapists are going around randomly raping people they don't know... and yeah, that happens sometimes too... but most of your assaults and abductions trace back to someone you know. Sometimes a friend, sometimes a family member... but more often than not the abuser is someone the victim knows... which, to me, always makes it that much more of a betrayal because you typically trust that person before the assault and they not only assault you but break you mentally in terms of how you feel about trusting people.

That said... your friend had a weird reaction. I could understand if he was angry at the person who assaulted his girlfriend... that would make sense... but it's a weird take to hyper-focus on how *he* was hurt by someone assaulting his girlfriend. That poor woman doesn't deserve such a boyfriend on top of having suffered the assault by someone she thought was a friend. I can't imagine being in her shoes right now.

 

[sanctionedusage]

That said... your friend had a weird reaction. I could understand if he was angry at the person who assaulted his girlfriend... that would make sense... but it's a weird take to hyper-focus on how *he* was hurt by someone assaulting his girlfriend. That poor woman doesn't deserve such a boyfriend on top of having suffered the assault by someone she thought was a friend. I can't imagine being in her shoes right now.

exactly! i asked a few things to rule out simple miscommunication but he just kept repeating the same sentiment: her being taken, and the guy outright disrespecting him as her boyfriend.. rather than disrespecting/betraying her. in around 50 texts, there wasnt a single statement out of concern or empathy. just self inserts and egotistical anger. i thought maybe he was friendly with the guy beforehand and felt personal betrayal as a friend, but they've never even met.

i wanted to reach out to her to support her, but we barely know each other. and maybe she'd take offense to my criticizing her boyfriend, if he told her about what i said. it's kinda hard to know your place with people offline.

 

[Dejected 55]

exactly! i asked a few things to rule out simple miscommunication but he just kept repeating the same sentiment: her being taken, and the guy outright disrespecting him as her boyfriend.. rather than disrespecting/betraying her. in around 50 texts, there wasnt a single statement out of concern or empathy. just self inserts and egotistical anger. i thought maybe he was friendly with the guy beforehand and felt personal betrayal as a friend, but they've never even met.

i wanted to reach out to her to support her, but we barely know each other. and maybe she'd take offense to my criticizing her boyfriend, if he told her about what i said. it's kinda hard to know your place with people offline.

Yeah. I know what you mean. Not about assault... but I had a friend years ago who was cheating on his wife. He kept telling me details about his encounters and I wish I never knew those things. I didn't know his wife but I saw her a time or two when I was at his house, and it felt very awkward because I really wanted to tell her what was going on and felt guilty that I didn't. Fortunately, sort of, the woman he was having the affair with had a stalkery ex-husband who was trying to get back with her and had hired a P.I. to follow her... yeah, not good, but what it meant was there were pictures of my friend having the affair that her ex sent to his wife so he was outed. Unfortunately, from what I could tell he and his wife stayed together after that. I still feel bad for her. She probably doesn't know half the things he said about preferring the affair over his wife... he probably gave her a sob story and "saved" the marriage somehow. His wife deserved better, but I was glad to no longer be the secret-keeper once the affair came out.

Anyway, this just sounds like a bad experience all-around for that woman, and I get why you'd feel empathy and wish you could reach out... but sometimes in these cases she wouldn't want a stranger poking in even if you were on her side.