Venting Pegasos date pushed back by 6 weeks - Angry

[Rubypie41]

So my VAD date was set for this coming Monday (16th Sept).

My family had agreed and accepted my decision, then today they come round to my house and basically emotionally guilt trip me into pushing back the date by 6 weeks, calling me selfish if I do not do so.

Telling me I have to try counselling, further medication, further surgeries on my completely ruined and dysfunctional ears that cause me horrendous pain, unable to speak, relentless clicking, cracking, breathing and voice autophony, ear tubes, Botox injected in my soft palate, bioplastique filler injected into my Eustachian Tube, horrible sensations when speaking, swallowing, eating. It's a complete mess.

I feel so angry that they accepted my decision and then at the last minute (due to fly out tomorrow), they come round and give me an onslaught.

So now I have to endure another 6 weeks of daily and nightly torment, for what! Just to say I've tried even more things which could be to my further detriment. I've had countless appointments over the last 10 months and just when I have everything organised, all my affairs on order, they basically come round and say we're not letting you go right now.

 

[fallingtopieces]

Im sorry you're suffering has been prolonged, and im also envious you have a Pegasos date scheduled.
Stay strong, you're almost there.

 

[whywere]

Your life, your decision, enough said.

I have always so disliked people who try and dictate my life and everything that goes with it.

Walter

 

[maniac116]

Wow.
I can understand your being upset.
Hopefully you'll find peace in the near future

 

[CatLvr]

Your life, your decision, enough said.

I have always so disliked people who try and dictate my life and everything that goes with it.

Walter

Walter said it good enough for the both of us. If age has taught me one thing it is those who truly care will abide by your decisions about your own life. Those who do not will ride you relentlessly until they guilt or bribe or just wear you down into giving them what THEY want.

I realize what's dones done at this point, but don't let them do this to you again. You deserve better. My heart goes out to you.

 

[J&L383]

I'm sorry this has happened. You've suffered so much and now only to prolong the suffering. I only wish for you that the next six weeks will go quickly and relatively comfortably, given the circumstances. I'm so glad you have Pegasos to go to to help you get rid of this burden of existence. Once you get to Switzerland, you will be at peace.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't blame you for feeling angry. What do they really expect to happen I wonder. I'm not sure how much therapy can counteract physical pain. It sounds like you're suffering so much. I'm so sorry.

 

[summa_tyme2224]

So my VAD date was set for this coming Monday (16th Sept).

My family had agreed and accepted my decision, then today they come round to my house and basically emotionally guilt trip me into pushing back the date by 6 weeks, calling me selfish if I do not do so.

Telling me I have to try counselling, further medication, further surgeries on my completely ruined and dysfunctional ears that cause me horrendous pain, unable to speak, relentless clicking, cracking, breathing and voice autophony, ear tubes, Botox injected in my soft palate, bioplastique filler injected into my Eustachian Tube, horrible sensations when speaking, swallowing, eating. It's a complete mess.

I feel so angry that they accepted my decision and then at the last minute (due to fly out tomorrow), they come round and give me an onslaught.

So now I have to endure another 6 weeks of daily and nightly torment, for what! Just to say I've tried even more things which could be to my further detriment. I've had countless appointments over the last 10 months and just when I have everything organised, all my affairs on order, they basically come round and say we're not letting you go right now.

Are they allowed to do that or did you change? Either way. Good luck. God speed.

 

[WearyWanderer]

Is there any way you can just go alone on the scheduled date? If this is how they're responding now I honestly doubt even 6 more weeks is going to make a difference tbh

Some people pretend to be supportive but when push comes to shove the reality is they're not actually willing to follow through and never will be. I'm so so sorry Ruby that is just cruel, inhumane and unjust.

Would strongly advise going as planned but solo or with a member from Pegasos' accompaniment team.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so unbearably, it truly is such a cruel existence where there's all this pain and torment but anyway I hope you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[SVEN]

So sorry.

 

[suffering_mo]

So my VAD date was set for this coming Monday (16th Sept).

My family had agreed and accepted my decision, then today they come round to my house and basically emotionally guilt trip me into pushing back the date by 6 weeks, calling me selfish if I do not do so.

Telling me I have to try counselling, further medication, further surgeries on my completely ruined and dysfunctional ears that cause me horrendous pain, unable to speak, relentless clicking, cracking, breathing and voice autophony, ear tubes, Botox injected in my soft palate, bioplastique filler injected into my Eustachian Tube, horrible sensations when speaking, swallowing, eating. It's a complete mess.

I feel so angry that they accepted my decision and then at the last minute (due to fly out tomorrow), they come round and give me an onslaught.

So now I have to endure another 6 weeks of daily and nightly torment, for what! Just to say I've tried even more things which could be to my further detriment. I've had countless appointments over the last 10 months and just when I have everything organised, all my affairs on order, they basically come round and say we're not letting you go right now.

It's only because they love you and they can't understand.... couldn't possibly. I couldn't have understood until my own situation. We, as humans in this day and age, are taught that attitude and strong mind (with mental help and medical advanced) can overcome and withstand anything.... it's not until you are at the lowest of lows and are living in torture, knowing that things will not get better, that you learn otherwise. If you were my loved one and I was healthy and couldn't understand, I would want the same as them. In fact, I would probably just say you had to endure forever. That's what I used to believe and have been told by my family, religious community, etc in my own situation..... "No matter the amount of suffering, you have no option to ever decide to end your own life". The fact that they are supportive at all (or were), is something you have that many of us do not. I'm sorry you have to suffer more.

 

[Raven2]

I remembered your pegasos date was soon rubypie and was wondering how your were holding up. I'm sorry your having to hold out longer.

 

[Amarajoy]

This makes me so angry for you. I just cannot believe the audacity to call you selfish when they are the ones behaving selfishly. I'm so sorry this is happening.


I sure hope your family comes around. I did see a documentary in which a woman was getting VAD and her two children tried to talk her into trying more. She managed to give some kind of spiel that finally convinced them to accept her position though they didn't want to.

I'm sure you tried to appeal to them. I hope once you jump through their hoops they will come round. How devastating and mentally taxing.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Your life, your decision, enough said.

I have always so disliked people who try and dictate my life and everything that goes with it.

Walter

Walter said it best! You're almost there, we are here for you! You are allowed to feel angry, your feelings are valid as fuck.

 

[J&L383]

This makes me so angry for you. I just cannot believe the audacity to call you selfish when they are the ones behaving selfishly. I'm so sorry this is happening.

I truly want to apply for VAD but I'm so anxious I will be turned down then out the money. I can't afford to spend that money then just lose it if they say no. I can't believe they charge so much without some type of refund. I can understand a deposit and some fees but they are clearly making a killing with their fees. Oh shoot, maybe I should edit that but in my condition I appreciate dark humor. I hope I do not offend.

I sure hope your family comes around. I did see a documentary in which a woman was getting VAD and her two children tried to talk her into trying more. She managed to give some kind of spiel that finally convinced them to accept her position though they didn't want to.

I'm sure you tried to appeal to them. I hope once you jump through their hoops they will come round. How devastating and mentally taxing.

Pegasos actually does refund all but about 1,500, if they turn you down, and even if you change your mind (I don't think this is a common occurrence, most people are pretty desperate by the time they get there). This is at least my understanding the last time I asked for confirmation.

If you haven't already done so, send the an email inquiry briefly explaining your situation. If you're over 50 (this is arbitrary, but a benchmark number at least) and have reasonable supporting medical evidence, they'll give you a good idea whether or not your application would be likely to be approved or not.

Also, The Last Resort is still trying to roll out the Sarco and they're claimimg to have virtually no expenses. But you'll have to pay for cremation which is probably about $2,000. (You could also repatriate your body but this is really, really difficult ). And they claim to have less stringent criteria because there's no medical doctor required because there's no need for pentobarbital. But, again, they haven't used the Sarco yet so this is sort of wait and see.

 

[Amarajoy]

Pegasos actually does refund all but about 1,500, if they turn you down, and even if you change your mind (I don't think this is a common occurrence, most people are pretty desperate by the time they get there). This is at least my understanding the last time I asked for confirmation.

If you haven't already done so, send the an email inquiry briefly explaining your situation. If you're over 50 (this is arbitrary, but a benchmark number at least) and have reasonable supporting medical evidence, they'll give you a good idea whether or not your application would be likely to be approved or not.

Also, The Last Resort is still trying to roll out the Sarco and they're claimimg to have virtually no expenses. But you'll have to pay for cremation which is probably about $2,000. (You could also repatriate your body but this is really, really difficult ). And they claim to have less stringent criteria because there's no medical doctor required because there's no need for pentobarbital. But, again, they haven't used the Sarco yet so this is sort of wait and see.

Thank you for the information.

I just read around that they don't refund the money. My error. I should edit that out of my comment. It gives me renewed hope this may be an option for me. Thank you.

 

[invalidrev]

Pegasos actually does refund all but about 1,500, if they turn you down, and even if you change your mind (I don't think this is a common occurrence, most people are pretty desperate by the time they get there). This is at least my understanding the last time I asked for confirmation.

If you haven't already done so, send the an email inquiry briefly explaining your situation. If you're over 50 (this is arbitrary, but a benchmark number at least) and have reasonable supporting medical evidence, they'll give you a good idea whether or not your application would be likely to be approved or not.

Also, The Last Resort is still trying to roll out the Sarco and they're claimimg to have virtually no expenses. But you'll have to pay for cremation which is probably about $2,000. (You could also repatriate your body but this is really, really difficult ). And they claim to have less stringent criteria because there's no medical doctor required because there's no need for pentobarbital. But, again, they haven't used the Sarco yet so this is sort of wait and see.

J&L383, I'm thinking of writing to Pegasos as well. Do you think writing a more detailed email will help or harm? I am almost 50 and have a progressive (but not terminal) medical condition.

 

[J&L383]

I think it is very worthwhile. I don't think there's any harm in it. Try to just limit it to the main bullet points. Just be sincere and honest as you can. You can flush out the details in the application materials that you will need to submit. If you have a progressive medical situation, they will certainly look at your case seriously. (Be patient with their responses, there's been a lot of political fallout recently for a few reasons so they're probably overloaded). I wish you the best.

 

[invalidrev]

Thank you, J&L383

 

[invalidrev]

Rubypie41, would you mind clarifying a couple of doubts about the process? It could benefit a lot of people here if you would...TIA
1) what will you state at customs as the reason for your visit?
2) does dental x-ray need a prescription? How does one get this?

 

[Rubypie41]

Rubypie41, would you mind clarifying a couple of doubts about the process? It could benefit a lot of people here if you would...TIA
1) what will you state at customs as the reason for your visit?
2) does dental x-ray need a prescription? How does one get this?

Hi,

Customs don't ask reasons for visits. Have you ever been asked a reason for your visit when going on holiday anywhere?

I got a dental x-ray from a local dentist and told them it was for an ENT problem where they wanted to rule out TMJ. I then forwarded the dental x-ray to Pegasos.

Hope this helps

 

[invalidrev]

Rubypie41 Thank you for the clarification. It certainly helps.

I wish you all the very best.

 

[athiestjoe]

Hope find the peace & serenity, so sorry you are going through this much pain and frustration.

 

[sevennn]

i suffer. ears as well. at least you were given the option. don't be angry

 

[suffering_mo]

@Rubypie41 You are still around? What came of this for you, of you don't mind sharing? Has there been improvement for you in the last weeks to keep you going? Has your family finally supported your decision?