PDF link to my writing: On the Origin of Gods by Means of Supernatural Selection

[Jay Sea]

Hello SS community,

Finally figured out a way to distribute my writings electronically and maintaining copyright protection:



thoughts/comments/criticisms/critiques most welcomed, thanks all

 

[Hvergelmir]

The introduction presents some questions about gods, and science; making me expect some religious or agnostic ideological purpose for the writing.
Chapter 1 then proceeds with a history lesson on nuclear weapons, and a lesson in probability theory.

Both pieces are well written and interesting in their own right. Considering myself already quite well informed on history and philosophy, I skimmed the index and choose to proceed straight to chapter 5.

(That's how I choose to interact with your work.)

Your writing is very accurate, but at the cost of being overly verbose.
Many words are used to present accurate and robust arguments for things that are mostly obvious. I think you can cut this down significantly, to more efficiently get your points across.
Reserve verbosity for where it's needed.

The chapters also seem to lack common direction. The chapters does not seem to relate each other, the title, or the introduction.

Aside from that the writing itself is excellent - coherent and of high quality.

 

[Jay Sea]

Those are excellent criticisms, many of which I agree with myself, my intended audience for this was the general public, who may or may not have any advanced training in the relevant subject areas, so I'm trying to make it as accessible as possible by over explaining rather than risk under explaining, probably why it would appear overly verbose to those with deeper knowledge such as yourself

Regarding the overall coherency of the abstract, I would also agree that it appears to lack a common direction, I was in essence trying to create a empirical framework in addressing subject matters that are typically considered inaccessible by empirical means, I did mention in the preface that the chapters would appear as an uneasy juxtaposition with each other, I'm afraid part of the flaw is due to it being a very short abstract and lacking room to further flesh out the connections in a more coherent way,

Thanks for for the feedback! Greatly appreciated,