Ozempic and SN, possible ctb tommorow

[lastch]

Don't ask me my logic behind starting ozempic today whilst I'm actively suicidal. I suppose I'm putting on an act for my family pretending I'm getting better; going out with them, trying to loose weight etc. My question is will me starting it today have any interaction with possible taking SN tommorow.

I had originally planned to ctb on the 10th of April, when my parents are away and my brother is on a foreign country school trip. I just realised I have an 8+ hour time window tomorrow where I'm alone and I figure it would be a lot less selfish to do it tomorrow rather than when everyone is out of the country. I have imagined my parents on the plane ride home and I feel terrible at the thought of it. I would also like to add I don't get many opportunities other than these two dates.

Although my possible CTB plans for tomorrow are impromptu, I have been passively/actively suicidal since September and as time goes on, the worse I get. I have lived a life full of pain and hardship and don't want to continue. Most days I don't leave my room, let alone the house, I have no friends and severe PTSD and BPD.

I have everything I need and will fast tonight just in case. I have my note written and just need to clean my room. Right now I'm just thinking things over and hoping I muster up the courage to do it as it's something I have wanted for a long time and think about everyday, ctb was always the end goal.

Any thoughts or advice is much appreciated.

 

[Sbetto]

I'm sorry that you've come to all of this. I wish you a good journey and hope you can be free from your pain and suffering. What is your protocol? Will you use meto or benzo?

 

[lastch]

I

I'm sorry that you've come to all of this. I wish you a good journey and hope you can be free from your pain and suffering. What is your protocol? Will you use meto or benz

I'm sorry that you've come to all of this. I wish you a good journey and hope you can be free from your pain and suffering. What is your protocol? Will you use meto or benzo?

Thank you. I'm hoping I go through with it. It's difficult as I don't have much time to emotionally prepare.

I have to have a quick read of the SN bible to double check a few things. I will probably just take the drugs an hour before, and then 35g of SN as I'm over 100kg.

The drugs I have are 1.25mg Xanax, 30mg olanzapine (anti-emetic), 1000mg paracetamol and 400mg propranolol.

I'm hoping the olanzapine as an anti-emetic will make up for my lack of Xanax due to it sedative properties. I have also been popping olanzapine throughout today as I'm very nervous.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand finding it painful to exist, I wish you the best in what you decide.